Bourgeault: Third Force, a New Way of Seeing

Bourgeault: Third force, A New Way of Seeing

“Humans tend to be third-force blind. “Either/or” thinking is the most obvious manifestation of this…An example of this third force midwifing comes from a member of our Canadian Wisdom circle. As the director of a small government-subsidized service agency, she had to appear before a provincial board to orally defend her budget…She threw away her prepared speech, smiled warmly, and began, ‘I want to thank you all for the generous funding we received from you last year. Here’s how we spent it.’ She then went on to detail all the good work they had managed to accomplish on what was actually a very small subsidy. As she spoke, she could sense the board members visibly relaxing and her colleagues staring in amazement. She concluded, ‘We are not asking you for a single additional penny this year, and if we need to cut back, this is the strategy we’ve put in place to do so with minimal impact on our service.’ By introducing gratitude as the missing third force, she managed to shift the energetic field from a sense of scarcity to a sense of abundance.”  Cynthia Bourgeault, The Holy Trinity and the Law of Three (Shambhala Publications, Inc.: 2013), 44-47, from Center for Action and Contemplation Richard Rohr Meditation

Cynthia Bourgeault’s writing of a third force is an “out of the box” spiritual practice for our daily life which presently seems to be so polarized now more than ever. This can change the way we deal with any interaction personally, publicly, internally and externally. It  brings into a situation another diminution, a third side rather than just two sides, pros and cons, them and us, for and against, either/or. It must be as void as possible of attachment or judgment. It is more than compromise or consensus.

A major component is  gratitude which can change a situation from scarcity to abundance, away from a zero-sum view.  It involves seeing similarities, being as objective as possible, being open to the present moment, not being combative, trying not to take sides, trying not to win an argument.

Gratitude is the corner stone  of so many other spiritual disciplines as well. In 12 step programs, gratitude is a major factor keeping people clean and sober. Whenever those in recovery are in difficulty, they are told to write a gratitude list daily. Again, it moves them from scarcity to abundance.

 In some ways, using a third force seems also to involve practicing the family systems principle of being the “least anxious presence.”  This brings the energy of a situation to a whole new level. It involves the mystery of what can happen when we live in the present moment, not the past or future, which makes me believe we are in some way inviting and bringing the divine into the situation, for God most often connects to us in the present moment.

Joanna joannaseibert.com

Singleton: Cheerios

Singleton: Gratitude and Cheerios

“You never get it all done.” Betsy Singleton Snyder,  Stepping on Cheerios.

Methodist minister, mother of four boys, including triplets, and wife of a then member of Congress tells us what it is like to stay connected to God in the midst of daily chaos.  Some of Betsy’s other favorite suggestions in Stepping on Cheerios are  you “take sorta kinda breaks,” “have family movie night as a spiritual practice,” “be just yourself and nothing else,”  “nurture something with your kids,”  “do less comparing,” and “stop more.” “God made bossy moms” and “everyone screws up” are two other  examples of her wisdom that resonated with me.

One of the parts of Betsy’s book I treasured is what she calls “the Squad.” This is an extensive list and description of people who helped her out especially  after she had a serious medical complication of pregnancy and times when her husband, Victor, was in Washington or meeting with his constituents at home.

Betsy and her family are a major  example of what living in community is like. Not all of us will have triplets, but all will at some time need the support and love of a community as Betsy found. It makes all the difference as we receive help until we as well can again help others.  We become more open to seeing the love of Christ in our neighbor who reaches out to us. We in turn, learn from our neighbor more about the Christ in ourselves who guides us to that life giving and sacred place of gratitude.

This is a major theme of Betsy’s book. She sees lessons in a multitude of situations presented to her and always moves out of them with gratitude. Gratitude for those who help her, gratitude for lessons she has learned, gratitude for the love of God shown to her family by so many. Her last chapter is titled, “My Cup Runneth Over,” as she thanks so many for making her dreams come true.

Joanna joannaseibert.com

Charleston: We are not done yet

Charleston: We are not done yet

“We are not done yet. .We may count our progress in inches. We may swim against the deep tides of greed and hate, but we are not done yet. Even if we do not live to see it all, we will be content to be the inspiration, to give all we have to free our world from fear.” Steven Charleston, Daily Facebook Page

Bishop Charleston gives us encouragement during difficult times when we are discouraged. This is why God constantly calls us to community. When  our lights are dim, we feel we have lost our connection to God, we feel we have not accomplished anything, in fact we believe we are failures, there are others in our community whose lights are on, who are more connected to God, who can encourage and support us until we see a different picture. They are like Simon of Cyrene, briefly carrying our cross. They are like the friends of the paralytic lifting him through the rooftop to Jesus.  Then in turn as we heal, it will be our turn to be the encourager.

Often people come for spiritual direction or meet with spiritual friends who indeed have been burned out or feel their life or their ministry is not accomplishing what they had hoped. That is our job as spiritual friends, to show each other where indeed God is working in our lives and how important it is for us to continue to be an inspiration to each other, remembering that we may not see the results. The results may be apparent much later, long after we have lived our lives and our names have been forgotten.

As I grow older, I seem more vividly to remember the people, the teachers, my grandparents, my co-workers and friends who encouraged me, who supported me, who never gave up on me. Most of them are indeed dead, so I can now only thank them by trying to  encourage others as they did to me. So today, I share with you Jon Sweeney’s new biography of Phyllis Tickle where he shares how Phyllis was a major encourager  for myself as well as so many others.

Joanna  joannaseibert.com