Resentments

Resentment

“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”  Attributed to St. Augustine and many others.

So many people come for spiritual direction because of resentments of harms done to them by other people. These resentments block us from a relationship with God as we obsess about what this person has done to us, thinking about this injustice more and more. The person or the event becomes our higher power, our God.  There cannot be a relationship with God because so much of our existence is centered on what was done to us and how we can react or even cause harm to that person. My experience is that when I can calm down and have some realization that this person indeed has become my God, I attempt a pathway to forgiveness. I don’t want this person or situation to be my higher power, to take up so much space in my limited life.

 The first step is praying daily for that person. Praying does not change the person that harmed us but praying can change us.  

One other observation can be helpful. We do not have far to look to see others whose resentments for harms done to them have taken over their existence. Some try to hide it. Some openly live a life of resentment. It changes who they are. Anger, bitterness, self-centeredness live in that body. Wholeness is excluded. Some become almost paralyzed by the resentment and cannot deal with life on life’s terms. They in turn begin to resent others who do not appreciate the harm that was done to them. Addictions creep in as temporary harmful solutions to the increasing pain that the resentment brings. That person who harmed them is still hurting them. It is a very sad, isolated life, an icon of who or what we do not want to be.

Forgiveness is our only option if we want a relationship with God and a relationship with others.

Joanna  joannaseibert.com

Charleston: Good Enough

Charleston: You are good enough

“Yes, you are good enough. And smart enough. And talented enough to do all the things the Spirit has set before you. Trust in your own value. Be confident in your direction.” Steven Charleston, Bishop Steven Charleston Daily Emails

hands of St Emma  DOK chapter by Chris Schaefer

This word from Steven Charleston came the morning I desperately needed it. The day before I allowed someone to push my “you are not good enough” button. How amazing these wounds from childhood stay with us. We work on them, learn we need only the approval of God, that God loves us where we are, and a nice scar develops over this wound that then seems to open up ever so easily.

Why do we keep experiencing this? My best answer is because we are human and we make mistakes. A better answer may be that in working through these feelings, we can more deeply identify with all those who daily, hourly, every minute are told they are “not good enough.” Unfortunately, we also are reminded that we  are sometimes the ones who may say to others in words or our body language that they are “not good enough.” These are not words we heard from Jesus.

As I now have been reminded how it feels to be put down, my prayer is that I can reach out to others who experience this and offer compassion as Bishop Charleston does, letting them know, they are “good enough.”  Today, this is the answer for me. As I write, I have called and visited others today who are homebound, those who have told me they feel left out, discarded, not worthy.  My whole attitude has changed. As I reach out of myself, become more accepting of my humanness and I touch the wounds of others, they heal me, and my prayer is that I may bring some healing to them.

Constantly God calls us to community to be healed.

Joanna  joannaseibert.com

Spiritual Wisdom and Radiology 2

Spiritual Wisdom and Radiology 2

“I think spiritual wisdom is not the measure of how much we know, but how much we have learned. We discover wisdom over and over again when what we think we know meets what we have never encountered before. Spirituality can be a transcendent emotion, but it is also a rigorous intellectual journey. Faith may be a temple, but it is also a school.”

Bishop Steven Charleston Daily Facebook page

an amazing group of pediatric radiologists

 I am on my way to our national meeting in pediatric radiology where a dear friend is receiving our medical specialty’s highest award. I can’t help but think about how radiology and spiritual direction have so much in common.

In spiritual direction, as in radiology, the more people I work with, the more experience I have, the more often I recognize patterns that lead to what is going on, but always, there is something unique about this patient or person. Each person I visit brings a new learning experience. Also, it is so easy in radiology and in spiritual direction, after a while to see the work as routine and forget about the grace at work in each person I have the privilege to see.

In radiology, sometimes one of the hardest findings to discover is not that there is a tumor there, but there is something missing that should be there, for example one of the bones of the lower leg that should be there is missing. That might be hard to believe, but I have often been fooled by looking for what is added and have missed what has been taken away. In spiritual direction I see difficulties have developed because something has been taken away or was absent in that person, often in childhood, often the knowledge of a loving God. I am always amazed how beautiful it is to see a process or development that has ceased able to begin again once that missing part, that new arm or leg is restored.

As in radiology and in spiritual direction we are looking for the many “tumors or barriers” that are keeping a person from seeing God in themselves, keeping them from seeing God working in their life,  keeping them from seeing God in each other.

 I also need a reminder that all of these tools can be used for harm if not done properly, in the proper dose, at the proper time. Too much radiation may be harmful.  For example, telling someone who has just experienced a death, that God will bring good out of this, could lead that person to lose faith in a God who needs death to bring about good. That message is for much later on when the person can see how God has healed him or her.

Joanna  joannaseibert.com