Wise Selfishness

Wise Selfishness

luke fildes. the doctor

“We have to take care of ourselves without selfishly taking care of ourselves. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we cannot survive. We need to do that. We should have wise selfishness rather than foolish selfishness. Foolish selfishness means you think only of yourself, don’t care about others, bully others, or exploit others. In fact, taking care of others, helping others, ultimately, is the way to discover your own joy and have a happy life. So that is what I call wise selfishness.” (the Dalai Lama).”—His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu with Douglas Abrams, The Book of Joy (Avery, 2016), pp. 47-48.

sick child. smithsonian j. bond francisco

Recently, I met with a group of people who visit hospitals and homebound members of our congregation. I asked the question, “What feeds your soul about visiting the sick and homebound? Why do you do something that will always interrupt your routine to visit someone you may not know?” Almost to a person, the answer was, “I always get more out of the visit than the person I meet with.” Another speaks up, saying, “It is a two-way street. We both learn to see Christ in each other. This helps us eventually see Christ in ourselves.”

One person said, “We must not forget that we bring love and community to someone vulnerable and needing connection.” These wise men and women have experienced that visiting and praying with those in need brings love and connection to both parties. Most visitors have experienced this as well. In the past, many also received a pastoral visit when they were in need. They have experienced what it is like to walk in the shoes of the ones they visit.

By A Sickbed Michael Ancher

I don’t think any hospital visitors would consider their ministry selfish, but the Dalai Lama, Bishop Tutu, and Douglas Abrams might describe it differently. They would say that feeding the soul of another that also feeds our soul is wise selfishness. An act of loving-kindness is always wise selfishness.

Joanna  https://www.joannaseibert.com/

What We Learned about Sacrifice in the Pandemic

Giving Up Our Lives

Sacrifice

“There will be countless occasions to witness for Christ, to give up our lives for the sake of Christ. There will be many opportunities to “lay down our life” for another person in need, probably even today – and not in some kind of ostentatious act of heroism and notoriety, but more likely in some very mundane and rather hidden way.”—Br. Curtis Almquist Society of Saint John the Evangelist

Sacrifice is perhaps a word we have forgotten or lost in our vocabulary. We have become so polarized because we cannot sacrifice our beliefs and listen to each other. Yet, we know we are so right and deserving.

Our recent observation of sacrifice was by a former president, who gave up his ambition and belief that he was the right person to lead this country. It became apparent that his legacy would not continue in this country if he did not step down from the nomination for a second term. He also echoed to us how difficult it was to make that decision.

First of all, the sacrifice we are required to make is simply to listen to those who think differently from us. On the surface, we may believe others are trying to take away our rights and the rights of others. Others are so wrong.

The sacrifice may simply involve listening to the other side. How did they get there? What triggered their fears? My experience is that wounded people want someone to listen to them and their stories. Then maybe they will listen to our story. It is not a quick fix. It takes time. It means we consciously look for the Christ in each other. Sometimes, the process may take years.

During the pandemic, everyone I spoke with knew someone who had died or been infected, often a beloved family member. We desperately wanted to be together again, back to our old life. We learned this would not happen unless each of us made sacrifices. We had to wear masks indoors in large gatherings and get vaccinated. We were never going to live the life we once had. Things would be different.

We learned that we would miss many whom we dearly loved unless we continued to make sacrifices.

The hardest sacrifice for us was not seeing the family members we so love. We had to settle for seeing our grandchildren, Zoe and Turner, through a picture window.

Every day, we should remember and celebrate that this is no longer the way we have to live.

Sacrificing for the whole has been ingrained in our country’s DNA. We must remember our history and re-member. We are called to become members of the body, instead of a mass of individuals with shouting voices and our fingers in our ears.

It is called Crossing the Divide.

Joanna. https://www.joannaseibert.com/

Finding God in Our Everyday Lives

Looking for God

One of my bookcases

“Are you, like me, hoping that some person, thing, or event will come along to give you that final feeling of inner well-being you desire? Don’t you often hope: ‘May this book, idea, course, trip, job, country, or relationship fulfill my deepest desire.’ But as long as you are waiting for that mysterious moment, you will go on running helter-skelter, always anxious and restless, always lustful and angry, never fully satisfied.”―Henri Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World.

From my medical career, I know where to find answers, having read extensively about diseases to solve the mysteries of what is going on with my patients. It is only natural that I carry that over to my spiritual life. I have filled bookshelves and bookshelves and bookshelves as I seek the truth of peace and connection to God. The answer seems right there on the next page. I go to the book’s last page; it must be hiding, for I cannot find it. So, I eagerly purchase the author’s next book, again hoping to connect to the truth that seems so close. I will attend their next workshop or conference. I find another author there, and I repeat the same cycle. I attend day retreats, silent retreats, week-long gatherings, and pilgrimages, knowing that answers will be found in those places or at those times. 

Nouwen says from his experience that this compulsive journey only leads to spiritual exhaustion, leading to spiritual death.

I return to my medical practice and remember that I often learned the answers from my patients if I listened to them. My patients and their medical findings, where it hurt, how long they were in pain, and how it felt to touch. That is where answers come in the present moment.

outside my window

In our spiritual life, C.S. Lewis tells us that we meet God in the present moment. This means that God’s appearance in the present moment is not found in the busyness of seeking God in a new place or with a new mentor. The present moment is always right in front of us. It is in the air we breathe. It is with each person we meet in our routine daily life. It is in the tree outside our window or the birds that come to feed. God is present in all these other places and people right in front of us, wherever we are. We only have to stop our busyness long enough to say, “Hello, I love you, too, and thank you.”

But we cannot hold onto the love and peace that living in the present brings. Instead, we must share this love with each breath, person, or part of nature we encounter. There, it multiplies and changes not only us, but the world.

Joanna   https://www.joannaseibert.com/