Buechner, Lewis: Telling Secrets 1

Buechner, Lewis: Telling Secrets 1

“I have come to believe that by and large the human family all has the same secrets, which are both very telling and very important to tell. They are telling in the sense that they tell what is perhaps the central paradox of our condition—that what we hunger for perhaps more than anything else is to be known in our full humanness, and yet that is often just what we also fear more than anything else.”                     Frederick Buechner, Telling Secrets

In Telling Secrets Buechner reminds us that we so often are like the dwarves in the stable in The Last Battle by CS Lewis. We do not see the good and do not realize that we are surrounded by beauty but live trapped lives because of our dark secrets. We are as sick as our secrets and only can get well by airing these secrets if only in our own hearts. Like the dwarves we live our lives huddled together in what we think is a cramped, pitch-black dark stable where there is little room to breathe. In reality, we are in the midst of an endless green meadow where the sun is shining and the sky is blue. Aslan himself (God) stands there offering freedom, but the dwarves cannot see him and only see each other. We are our secrets and our trusting each other enough to share them with each other has much to do with the secret of what it is to be connected to the God within us as well as to honor our humanness.  

As we go into this new year, what secrets are we carrying that are keeping us in the dark?

Joanna  joannaseibert.com

O'Donohue, Adams-McCaslin: Longing

O’Donohue, Adams-McCaslin: Longing

Guest Writer: Pan Adams-McCaslin

“Blessed be the longing that brought you here
And quickens your soul with wonder.

May you have the courage to listen to the voice of desire
That disturbs you when you have settled for something safe.

May you have the wisdom to enter generously into your own unease
To discover the new direction your longing wants you to take.

May the forms of your belonging—in love, creativity, and friendship—
Be equal to the grandeur and the call of your soul.

May the one you long for long for you.”

John O’Donohue, “For Longing,” To Bless the Space Between Us, p. 35.

For me, spiritual direction has always been about being willing to enter into my own unease.  Yet, because looking at my own frailties and failures has been painful at times, I’ve often wanted an easier, softer way- a new exercise, a way of journaling, a form of prayer that provides a rapid answer, a new kind of body work that would allow me to open myself to God’s desires for me.

But through the years, I’ve learned the best way for me to lean into my own morass, and discover my new direction, is to be still, to recognize that rest, silence, and surrender into the uncomfortable mess of unease brings light, creativity and a greater love for myself as I recognize that the one I long for, longs for me.

Pan Adams-McCaslin       12-20-17

Joanna joannaseibert.com

Buechner: Family

 Buechner: Family

“…what I’ve said about my mother has at least a kind of partial truth is that I know at first hand that it is true of the mother who lives on in me and will always be part of who I am.”
Frederick Buechner, “The Dwarves in the Stable,” Telling Secrets, p. 18, 1991.

 So many people come for spiritual direction but spend more time talking about their struggles with other people especially family members rather than their own walk with God. I keep wanting to remind them that I am not a therapist trying to help them to live life on life’s terms, but that I am the spiritual director or friend they have chosen to care for their soul. I try to redirect our meeting always asking the question, “Where do you see God in this situation?” Sometimes it works for a while, but then we often find ourselves back on that other road with the difficult family members or friends.

Frederick Buechner writes often about family members and his walk with them, his father who committed suicide when he was ten years old, his mother who died in her nineties living a very superficial life relying on her physical beauty, and his daughter’s life-threatening struggle with anorexia. As he finishes part of a story he sometimes wonders what people will say about him as well in years to come. He seems suddenly to have an awareness that he will always be carrying these people from his past and present with him no matter how hard he works to deal with the issues. It may be the same for us as well.

Buechner teaches us through his story to see how our struggles with others connect us with our relationship to God.  We still carry our family and our friends with us, maybe sometimes not as intensely. They will always be a part of us. We learned from them. We inherited them. They are in our genes.

 I carry with me my father’s need and search for peace and quiet, my mother’s best survival mode of being the victim, my brother’s love of laughter and play, my grandmothers’ and grandfathers’ deep and abiding faith.

 As I grow older and make more mistakes, I learn to be gentler with these parts of me. This seems to be a part of the path of learning to love our selves so that we can now love our neighbor outside of our selves. It is the road to forgiveness. It is the road to the Christ within who stops and sees the Christ in our neighbor.

Joanna  joannaseibert.com