Listening: Nouwen

Listening Nouwen

“To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements, or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even to dare to be silent with you.” Henri Nouwen, Henri Nouwen Society, Daily Meditation, excerpts from Henri Nouwen, Bread for the Journey.

Listening is at the heart of being a spiritual friend. Nouwen reminds us that it is not waiting our turn to talk. It is letting someone else know you are offering the gift of your attention and time to be present with them. Some think it may be easier for introverts, but in reality, introverts may still be processing what they want to say in their minds while others are talking and only pseud-listening. Extroverts may have difficulty responding too much and too soon to what they are hearing, for they better process what they hear on the outside.   The answer is practice. This an art form that must be practiced consciously every day until it becomes unconscious like brushing our teeth.

We have grown up in a multitask world where we learn to do multiple tasks at a time, eating while we work or watching television, working on several projects, multiple problems at a time, looking at emails, texting, or searching on our I phones while we are sitting down to meet with others. While someone is talking to us, our pattern becomes to think of how we are going to solve another problem as soon as we move on to the next project or meeting.

Living in the present, active listening are becoming lost arts. Again, we must practice them intentionally. My experience is that keeping eye contact helps keep me focused on the person or people I am listening to. This helps us actively “look for,” visibly and invisibly try to see the Christ within others that can only be revealed when they can also see the Christ within us.

 I have a few spiritual friends who unconsciously keep their eyes closed while they talk. Even in these circumstances, we can try to image Christ inside and behind that protective layer of flesh that is usually open to us.

Listening is an art form and a gift. St. Benedict calls it, "listening with the heart of your heart."

Joanna  joannaseibert.com

Charleston: Different Faiths

Charleston: Different Faiths

“Each person defines faith for themselves. Even if we sit in the pews with a thousand others, we all still process what we believe individually. Part of that definition is received, imparted to us by culture and community. Part is internally developed over time and through experience. Faith, therefore, is a process. Being conscious of what faith means to us is being aware of how life works for us. As Socrates is supposed to have said: the unexamined life is not worth living.” Bishop Steven Charleston, Daily Facebook Meditation

A meeting of Christians, Muslims, and Jews before sharing a meal together.

 Those who come to talk about spiritual direction are usually consciously or unconsciously looking for the examined life, trying to go deeper in their relationship with God. Steven Charleston’s message is a reminder as we talk to spiritual friends to honor and respect their faith that may be different from ours.

In fact, this is how our faith as well as their own grows as we learn about the relationship of others in different faith groups from our own. With so much division in our country at this time, so many ask about what we can do to bring about healing. My experience is that we are called to “bloom where we are planted.”

  I hear a call to reach out to and become friends with our neighbors of other faiths. The workplace is a perfect opportunity. It has become where our melting pot is centered. Let others know we want to know more about what they believe. Attend seminars and meetings and services between other Christian groups such as Church Women United, World Day of Prayer, and other faith groups that include Muslims and Jews and Hindus and more. Sharing a meal together is always a good start.

Joanna joannaseibert.com

Resurrection

Resurrection

“Our memory of Jesus’ resurrection fails us if we only understand his resurrection as a miracle. Jesus’ resurrection was indeed a miracle; however Jesus’ resurrection needs to be more than a miracle. It’s needs to be normal… every day… how we live and breathe: with resurrection power.” Br. Curtis Almquist, Brother, Give Us a Word, April 10, 2018, Society of St. John the Evangelist, SSJE, friends@ssje.org

This is at the heart of spiritual direction, helping spiritual friends see daily, yearly resurrection in their lives in the daily, yearly Good Fridays that present themselves. It often does take more than three days to be aware of these resurrections. As we become more conscious of the resurrections, we become more open to trust and be a little more patient that there will be a resurrection out of each new darkness we face.

My experience also is that I most often draw closer, spend more time with God during the darkness. In the dark Good Fridays of my life is where I learn about surrender, where I “re-turn” my life and my will over to God.

A close family member or friend dies. We learn about the sacredness of life and spend more time living in the present with gratitude for each day. We learn to honor and be grateful for the relationship we had by extending the love and kindness we learned in that relationship to others.

Our children act out. We see our part in it and try to change our relationship with them.

Our job becomes more and more difficult. We finally leave it or maybe are even fired. After much time we find a job that is our bliss.

A medical illness slows us down. We learn about a more meaningful life at a slower pace living a day at a time.

We are caught in our addiction and lose our job. We change our whole live-style and outlook on life in order to live without the addiction.

Someone has harmed us mentally, physically, or spiritually. Over much time we realize that unless we can forgive them and move on, they are still hurting us. We then slowly learn about daily forgiveness for the small hurts we feel each day.

Miracles that become the ordinary. God at work in our lives.

Joanna  joannaseibert.com