Nouwen: Death

Nouwen: Death

When we lose a dear friend, someone we have loved deeply, we are left with a grief that can paralyse us emotionally for a long time. People we love become part of us. Our thinking, feeling and acting are codetermined by them. When they die a part of us has to die too. That is what grief is about: It is that slow and painful departure of someone who has become an intimate part of us. But as we let go of them they become part of our "members" and as we "re-member" them, they become our guides on our spiritual journey.” Henri Nouwen August 26, 2018, Henri Nouwen Society, Daily Meditation, from Bread for the Journey, henrinouwen.org

my grandfather  and  his 20 brothers and sisters ( handsome one 3rd from left back row)

The God of my understanding does not give us a person we love deeply and then let that relationship end with the death of that person. Ours is a God of love. The love from that companion we so deeply cared about is still there with us. We are still in relationship with that person but in a way we do not understand. Their love does not stop. Our love for them does not stop. Death is not a period at the end of a sentence, but more like a comma.

Sometimes when we bring to memory events and ordinary and special times with the person we loved, we will also feel their presence and their wisdom. We can still talk to them in this new relationship that is still a mystery. Nouwen believes that we sometimes can be even more intimate in this relationship than in life.  It is their love that we feel. Love is what continues and never dies.

 Some people find it helpful to wear a piece of jewelry or clothing as a physical reminder of a relationship that is now spiritual. Our loved ones are now in some way always present with us while in life they were only present when they were physically with us.

The grief recovery work that we have been involved with for at least twenty years called Walking the Mourner’s Path believes that one of the most helpful ways to stay in relationship with our loved one is to do something to honor the relationship we had. Amazing transformations have occurred. People have started suicide prevention programs, built walking trails, written books, developed new careers in helping professions, built halfway houses for those in recovery, given land where their loved one died to habitat for humanity.

For myself, I returned to church and stopped smoking when my Grandfather Whaley died to honor him.  My grandfather’s love cared for me while he lived and saved my life even in death. I still feel his presence today even almost forty years since his death, and especially as I write about him this morning and now send that love on to my own grandchildren.

Joanna.   Joannaseibert.com

Revelation

Revelation

 “Revelation isn’t a far-off event that happened in some by-gone time. It is something that is happening in the here and now. Right here, today.” Brother L’Esperance, Society of St. John the Evangelist, SSSJE.org Daily Email, Brother Give us a Word.

5 Lepnephall

Revelation brings to mind Flannery O’Connor’s last short story, “Revelation” about Ruby Turpin, a pig farmer who has the sense knocked out of her literally by a college girl in her doctor’s waiting room. As Ruby goes over in her mind how she is superior to the other people in the room, the Wellesley student throws her book, Human Development at Ruby and calls her a “old wart hog.” Ruby wonders if this is a message from God. Later, she has a vision of people in the waiting room going to heaven singing Halleluiah off key while the people like herself who think they are superior are at the end of the line singing, of course, on key.

We daily are given revelations, often by people like the student,  Mary Grace, whom we least expect. My experience is that there are people in our lives today at the workplace, at home, at school, on the streets who are speaking to us about changes we need to make in our spiritual and physical lifestyles, our addictions, our prejudices. The message may be too painful, or we do not see the messengers as persons of authority, because we are superior to them because of our education, our wealth, our social standing, our race, or the land of our birth.

O’Connor says Mary Grace may not be pretty or will not be the authority figure we are accustomed to hearing. Mary Grace may not be able to sing on tune or even speak our language. She may be someone we would unconsciously consider beneath us.

 Our revelations are often about how we should change, but they are also revelations about how grateful we should be for the amazing gifts we have before us. We are given revelations about beauty, the beauty of the outdoors, the beauty of the friendships we have. Most of all, we are given revelations of God’s presence with us. These revelations come in an unexpected call or touch or note. A piece of music, a sermon, a meal reminds us God’s love.

Spiritual exercises put us in position for revelations.  Our mission only is to be ready and open to hear and receive the message of God’s presence and love.

Joanna joannaseibert.com

Lewis Hines

Lewis Hines

“He arrived at the coal mines, textile mills and industrial factories dressed in a three-piece suit. He wooed those in charge, asking to be let in. He was just a humble Bible salesman, he claimed, who wanted to spread the good word to the laborers inside.  What Lewis Hine actually wanted was to take photos of those laborers — and show the world what it looked like when children were put to work.” Jessica Contrera, “The searing photos that helped end child labor in America,” The Washington Post, September 3, 2018.

This recent article by Jessica Contrera in The Washington Post reminds me how art can change the world. Most of you know the story. Hines was a photographer who went to industries in the early 1900’s and exposed with his camera the horrendous working conditions of  young children working in mines, in factories,  in any business that needed unskilled workers.

Our hearts break when we see these young girls and boys just slightly older than toddlers working long shifts in dangerous conditions. Their faces are dull. There are few smiles. They were in essence slave labor. I love seafood, but almost every time I eat oysters now I see this young girl maybe 6 or 7 years old with her yellow hair pulled back standing on a stool to reach the table to shuck oysters with the older women on either side. If you have ever shucked oysters, you know it is a dirty task with mud all over you and possible cuts from a slip of the oyster knife. It is not an easy job for adults, much less children.  Oyster shells form the floor of the dark room. The young girl’s apron is almost as big as she is. We do not see her face. That might be too much to bear. We do see the faces of the women beside her, maybe relatives. They look older than their presumed age with a hapless life look on their faces.

 Pictures like this changed our country and its labor laws for children. Hines not only shared these dramatic pictures of children doing tasks dangerous often for adults but he interviewed the children and told us their story and their age. Hines’s story with this image is “7-year old Rosie. Regular shucker. Her second year at it. Illiterate. Works all day. Only shucks a few pots a day. Varn & Platt Canning Co. Bluffton, South Carolina, published February,1913.” (Library of Congress Photographs Online Catalog)

Hines’ work is a reminder that art, photography,  music, writing, stories are as powerful as guns and cannons in getting things changed in our world. When I talk with people about how they want to change the world I remind them of how this one person with one camera and maybe a Bible in hand made a difference. We are not all Hines but we have been created with talents that can make differences in others’ lives without the threat of violence just as he did.

We connect to the difference we can make by connecting to the Christ within us. We become the person God created us to be and discern and  share that gift.

Joanna. Joannaseibert.com