Parker Palmer: Violence

Parker Palmer: Violence

“Violence is what happens when we don’t know what else to do with our suffering.” Parker Palmer, p. 48, On the Brink of Everything, Grace, Gravity & Getting Old, Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.2018.

I am not even one quarter the way through this recent book by Parker Palmer and already have most of what I have read underlined. I am especially moved by this quote about violence from a commencement address by Parker Palmer to the class of 2015 at Naropa University in Boulder, Colorado.

We daily see this in our lives. Violence comes from accumulated suffering that we and generations before us can no longer bear. Violence is grief that cannot find any other outlet or transformation. Maybe we have just inherited this way to respond to grief. Violence is grief over the loss of identify, loss of what we think may be ours, loss over loved ones, loss of land, loss of life’s work, loss of the rights that others have, loss of food, shelter, loss of love.

Grief is a powerful energy. I know it best in working with people in a grief recovery group, Walking the Mourner’s Path. Grief saps us of all energy. Grief takes up all our energy. We at times become paralyzed. When we are grieving, we can become violent to others, blaming them for the loss of our loved one. We can become violent to ourselves, becoming bitter, a victim.

There is hope, great hope. I have seen this enormous energy transformed into something other than violence. It can be transformed into empathy for others who are suffering as we hear their story. When suffering moves away from its own pain and reaches out to the pain of others, it becomes love. It can become compassion. Compassion leads to ways to move through the suffering, especially in community, that are nonviolent.

Suffering may not be the only factor in violence, but it may help to look at violence in ourselves and others and the world to see what part suffering may play in it. This involves looking at what must be going on in ourselves and others with some compassion when violence raises its ugly head.

Our faith stories teach us that finding love and compassion out of suffering can lead to resurrection experiences.

Joanna. Joannaseibert.com

Prejudice and the Daily Office

Prejudice and the Daily Office

“Do not let the oppressed be shamed and turned away;
Never forget the lives of your poor.” The Daily Office, https://dailyoffice.org .

If I cannot attend the office of Morning Prayer at St. Mark’s, I try to read it from this website. If you do not know about this Daily Office website, you are in for a new adventure. Besides having all the readings right there in front of you for morning and evening and noon day prayer, the Lay Vicar, Josh Thomas, of the website offers hymns and pictures that relate to the readings and offers prayer petitions from those who send to them. It is not just a website but a community praying individually as well as participating in a live broadcast of morning and evening prayer service twice a day from the site. I always feel connected to pray-ers all over the world when I connect to The Daily Office.

As I read these prayers through this community, my mind takes me out of my own problems, and I move more globally. I see the children and families of Latino origin who are still separated and incarcerated at our southern border with Mexico. I cannot stop thinking and praying about them and those who are making and supporting a policy that has brought on great tragedy.

Then I remember an episode yesterday from our food pantry. I go to St. Mark’s weekly food pantry just meet and talk with those who come for their groceries. I see a brown colored woman with black hair and three children with similar appearance come in who seem to be confused about the process. I immediately think they must be Latino and motion to our member who speaks Spanish to go over and help them. The mother tells him she speaks English. Later, as I talk with the children I realize they are Native American.

I learn about my own prejudice that all brown skinned people must be of a certain heritage. I cannot condone the prejudice of those who are harming immigrant children and their families who are seeking asylum in our country, but I have a little insight into my own darkness.

I make amends to the family and hope I have learned some life lessons taught to me by those who were here in this land long before me.

Joanna joannaseibert.com

Recovery Conference 2018

Recovery conference 2018

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” Archbishop Desmond Tutu

I am attending the Episcopal Recovery Conference in Asheville, North Carolina and learning so much more about recovery from addictions. First of all, I realize that the longer I am in recovery, I tend to believe I know and have heard it all. Today I am disabused of this thought process. I actually know very little. That is why so many gatherings like this are important.

One speaker, Chris Budnick, executive director of Healing Transitions in Raleigh, talks about how we think recovery for others should look similar to ours. Not true. Recovery from addiction is not a cookie cutter process. We share with others our experience, strength, and hope, but we must not expect others to have the same experience, strength, and hope. Perhaps we can see this more clearly in reference to our spiritual life. We each have a spiritual connection to God, but it is different for each of us. So also is our response to recovery and how we reach recovery unique.

I learn one more lesson today. We often talk about someone not coming to recovery because they “have not reached their bottom.” That means they haven’t reached a level of pain that will cause them to make a change. The speaker gave examples of others who decided to change because people in recovery kept letting them know there was hope for freedom from addiction. Hope for a new life. Mentors in recovery keep letting them know that those in recovery care about them, have some realization of what they are going through, and keep telling them there is hope. Those caught in addiction may begin to see hope and caring in the person in recovery who seems honestly to care about them.

This is one more way of how those in recovery can carry the message to those who are still suffering by continuing to reach out and give them hope.

Joanna. Joannaseibert.com