Hillesum: Answers

Hillesum: Answers

“Thinking gets you nowhere. It may be a fine and noble aid in academic studies, but you can’t think your way out of emotional difficulties. That takes something altogether different. You have to make yourself passive then, and just listen. Re-establish contact with a slice of eternity.”

Etty Hillesum, An Interrupted Life the Diaries, 1942-1943 and Letters from Westerbork, Picador 1996, Daily Quote, June 29, 2018, Inwardoutward.org, Church of the Saviour

Etty Hilesum gives us her formula for finding her way through difficult situations. Those who make decision using their thinking (T) function, what is reasonable, will probably disagree. Those who make decisions using their feeling (F) function, taking in consideration the importance of relationships may probably agree with Ms. Hilesum.

Looking deeper beyond personality types takes us to another level. I think she is trying to tell us to let the committee in our head rest by whatever means we use, reading, meditation, music, walking, praying, writing, just being.

She is telling us to connect to the God within us however we can. We are to try to find an answer from something greater than ourselves. We do not know the exact answer. We will recognize it because we know it will have something to do with love.

Joanna. joannaseibert.com

Nouwen: Zero-Sum

Nouwen: Zero-Sum

Fearful people say: "’There's not enough food for everyone, so I better save enough for myself in case of emergency,’ or ‘There's not enough knowledge for everyone to enjoy; so I'd better keep my knowledge to myself, so no one else will use it’ or ‘There's not enough love to give to everybody, so I'd better keep my friends for myself to prevent others from taking them away from me.’ This is a scarcity mentality. It involves hoarding whatever we have, fearful that we won't have enough to survive. The tragedy is what you cling to ends up rotting in your hands.” Henri Nouwen, “Temptation to Hoard,” Henri Nouwen Society Daily meditation, May 6, 2017. Henri J. M. Nouwen p. 100, Bread for the Journey: A Daybook of Wisdom and Faith, HarperSanFrancisco 1997.

Nouwen is first describing our life as a zero-sum mentality. We can only do well or win or succeed if someone else loses, so we are not going to share because there is only so much food, love, land to go around. There is one pie. If someone takes a slice, there is less for the rest of us. One person’s gain is another’s loss. This theory describes situations in which the total of wins and losses adds up to zero, and thus one party benefits at the direct expense of another. There is only so much and not enough for all. Some must lose for others to gain. It is a competitive scarcity world view. It leads to a fear-based society.

On the other hand, the opposite of the scarcity mentality is a positive-sum situation or abundance mentality which occurs when the total of gains and losses is greater than zero. A positive sum plan occurs when resources are seen as abundant and an approach is formulated where the desires and needs of all concerned are satisfied. One example would be when two parties both gain financially by participating in a contest, no matter who wins or loses. Positive-sum outcomes occur in instances of distributive bargaining where different interests are negotiated so that everyone’s needs are met. With an abundancy mentality, there is enough for all.

How we view our neighbors and ourselves and the world is totally different in these two views. A zero-sum life style is isolated, lonely with our own self-interest guiding us. A positive sum life sees abundance, gives away food, love, knowledge to those in need, and as Nouwen reminds us, “there are many leftovers.”

Jesus’ feeding of the 5000, found in all four gospels, is a story of a positive sum experience.

My experience is that I am living in fear with zero-sum lifestyle when I am competing with others for the love or attention or support of some entity or person. There is peace in my life when I live knowing there is enough love or support or attention for all.

Joanna. joannaseibert.com

God Hole

God Hole

“There is a really deep well inside me. And in it dwells God. Sometimes I am there too. But more often stones and grit block the well, and God is buried beneath.” Etty Hillesum, An Interrupted Life the Diaries, 1942-1943 and Letters from Westerbork, Picador 1996, Daily Quote, Inwardoutward.org, Church of the Saviour, June 28, 2018.

simon migaj

Etty Hillesum was a young Jewish woman studying law in the Netherlands in the 1940’s who lived down the street from Anne Frank. She died at the age of 29 in the Nazi concentration camp at Auschwitz. She kept a diary of her inner life as well as describing the severe persecution of the Jews in Holland during those days. Which was published after her death. Her transformation out of fear and hate to love and care and kindness and compassion for those suffering around her makes her an icon especially for us today. Through the help of her psychotherapist, she learned to see the God hole in people and situations during those amazingly difficult times and fill that God hole with the love she had known.

This is indeed our ministry as spiritual friends. Each of us has a hole in our mind, our heart, our body that only God can fill. Instead we try to fill it with relationships, food, alcohol, drugs, shopping work, sports, work, power, even family, writing, reading, and patriotism. We can also fill it with hate, persecution, bigotry, self-centeredness, intimidation, cruelty, negativity, pessimism, hopelessness, despair, apathy, and indifference.

As spiritual friends we are called to help each other find that God hole and fill it with the best unconditional love we can muster up. It begins with our presence with each other and listening.

I remember a dear friend who came into my office at the hospital early one morning about a relationship that had just broken up. He was depressed, sad, broken-hearted, in tears. We talked for some time. Mostly I listened and tried to let him know how much I cared about him. Late in the conversation, I happened to mention the God hole. Somehow, he intuitively realized that this relationship had completely filled his God hole. I only had to say a few words. A light bulb went on. I usually do not mention the God hole when someone is in so much suffering, but something told me to bring it up that early morning. Hopefully we both were being guided by the Holy Spirit in our own God hole.

Joanna. joannaseibert.com