Gerald May IV: Love

August 17, 2019 joanna seibert

“In speaking of love, narcissism says, ‘I need you to love me.’ Erotic love says, ‘I need you.’ Filial love says, ‘I love you because I understand you.’ Agape—if it could speak—might say, ‘I am you in Love.’”

—Gerald G. May in Will and Spirit (HarperOne, 1982), p. 167.

In Will and Spirit, Gerald May discusses types of love: narcissistic (self-love), Me-Me; erotic (romantic) love, Me-You; filial (compassionate) love, I-Thou; and agape (divine, unconditional) love. May believes that erotic and filial love can act as “primary education leading to agape love.” Our confusion comes when we expect unconditional love from human beings and expect conditional love from God—and look for unconditional love from an image of God.

May points out that those who believe they are as holy as God commit perhaps the greatest sin. Willful self-determination is a template for human evil, just as is willful vengeance. Willfulness always leads to separateness.

If we can move toward forgiveness for some past wrong, then our basic capacity for loving will not be injured. But if we hold on to resentment, it will become increasingly difficult to love or feel lovable. Our sense of separateness increases, and we become more and more afraid of anything resembling belonging, surrender, or union.

It is not so much the nature of evil forces that we experience, but our response to them that can make the difference in our lives. When faced with a difficult situation, we must not deaden ourselves to the reality, cop out, or react quickly with our own plan while forgetting to call on the active power of God. We are called to remember the importance of the situation and the need for action, but to factor in our total dependence on the unconditional love of God. Then our hearts can be open to God working in us—and at some deep level of our awareness, we can relax and be at peace.

Joanna. Joannaseibert.com

Movie Date

August 16, 2019 joanna seibert

“I have a theory that movies operate on the level of dreams, where you dream yourself.” —Meryl Streep.

My granddaughter, Zoe, and I have been having a date for many years on Friday afternoon to watch old movies. I wish we could swim together or stroll in the woods or walk down some of Little Rock’s beautiful trails; but my physical disability makes that too difficult. However, we can curl up in the king-size bed in our master bedroom, all lights out, each covered by our favorite blankets, while we eat popcorn and watch movies. We have seen almost every musical made. Occasionally we watch drama, and less often, comedy. One week Zoe saw, for the first time, Some Like It Hot. I forgot to mention that Zoe is going into the eleventh grade, and usually I get permission from her parents for her to see certain movies. We usually talk a little about the movie after it is over. Sometimes there is much to talk about; at other times, very little.

In the past I have shown her paintings from my favorite art museums, and rarely have we read poetry together. There is so much grandparents want to share with their precious grandchildren. Mostly, however, it is just about the pleasure of being in their presence. I have learned to drop everything I am doing and be with her if she sends a text about a possible movie date.

This movie date has become for me an icon of what prayer time may be about. I think there is some built-in homing device through which both we and God yearn for each other’s presence. Prayer is occasionally words, but mostly presence. I think God longs to share God’s experience, God’s amazing world with us; but mostly God longs for our presence—just as there is a conscious, and maybe even a stronger unconscious longing in us just to be in God’s presence.

Joanna joannaseibert.com

Release party!!!!!!!!!!!

Come and get a signed copy of the new book

Just in time for the holidays

A Spiritual Rx for Advent Christmas, and Epiphany

The Sequel to A Spiritual Rx for Lent and Easter

Both are $18

All Money from sale of the books goes either to Camp Mitchel Camp and Conference Center in Arkansas or Hurricane Relief in the Diocese of Central Gulf Coast

Seibert’s, 27 River Ridge Road, Little Rock, Arkansas 72227

10 to noon, Saturday September 14, 2019

RSVP joannaseibert@me.com

Gerald III: Spiritual Friends

August 15, 2019 joanna seibert

“At the deepest level of our hearts we are all aching, for each other and for the same eternally loving One who calls us. It would be well, I think, if we could acknowledge this more often to one another.”

—Gerald G. May in Will and Spirit (HarperOne, 1982), p. 321.

Gerald May in Will and Spirit writes that regardless of our tradition, the spiritual journey should not be undertaken alone. May quotes Kenneth Leech, who opens his book about spiritual direction, Soul Friend (Harper & Row, 1980), with the Celtic saying: “Anyone without a soul friend is a body without a head.” A spiritual friend or guide is not one who gives directions, but one who points directions—a person who knows something of the terrain from having traveled some of it. Such a guide can say, “I think there may be trouble over there; perhaps try this way.”

Professional training or qualifications of a director, counselor, or friend are not nearly as important as fundamental qualities of basic positive intent; humility (not presuming to know more than one knows); and willingness (commitment to traveling a rough road and allowing the guidance to come from God rather than trying to engineer it); and responding simply and directly to the needs of others as they are presented.

May cautions us that if we expect to be spiritual friends by learning techniques of discernment and using them on other people, the outcome will be nothing but a blind sales pitch or slightly pastoralized psychotherapy. He describes psychology as seeking to help a person solve the problems of living; while spiritual direction deepens the Question of life itself.