Beautiful People

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” —Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in Death: The Final Stage of Growth (Simon & Schuster, 1986), p. 96.

I met at least two beautiful people today. I went to say prayers and give ashes to an older member of our congregation in the hospital, as it is Ash Wednesday. As I was waiting at the elevator with my silver pix filled with a small amount of ashes, an African American wheelchair attendant asked me about the black ash on my forehead. I reminded him that it was Ash Wednesday. He asked for ashes, as it was his Church’s tradition as well. He commented that he usually takes another elevator, but today he stepped into this one, and now he knew why.

So we had “ashes to go” right there as we waited for the elevators to come down. Here was a gentle, sensitive man looking for God’s presence in all he does, especially in busy times. I do not know any of his life circumstances. We gave each other a blessing, and after the elevator came down, we parted as I went up to Michael’s floor.

Michael was sitting up and his stepdaughter was sitting by him. I will always remember his amazing smile as he saw me and reached out to greet me with his left arm tethered to intravenous tubing. Both bandaged legs were elevated in his wheelchair. He had fallen and broken his hip, but he talked about having a puncture in his heel. Kindness and love shone out through his dementia as he apologized for not standing up when I entered his room.

His stepdaughter described him as the sweetest man she had ever known; and just in these few minutes I knew it was true. I longed to stay for hours and simply listen to him talk, even though his confused conversation about his children and his life made no sense. I craved being in the presence of someone who seemed to know only love and kindness, even though he was not connected to mundane reality. I hope I can share Michael with those I talk with about spiritual direction, and remind spiritual friends that love and God do not need to be rational understandings. Love has a distinctive “aura” that can fill a room fuller and faster than the most beautiful or intelligent phrases, something like poetry.

There are many books about dementia and Alzheimer’s. Spiritual friends often ask about finding love and God as they watch a loved one slip away in dementia. Certainly, not all are like Michael.

I usually share two books that have been helpful. Susan Cushman has written Tangles and Plaques: A Mother and Daughter Face Alzheimer’s, about a more difficult situation; and Frank Broyles has published a very practical book about caring for his wife, who has Alzheimer’s: Coach Broyles’ Playbook for Alzheimer’s Caregivers: A Practical Tip Guide. I think that some of the most beautiful people that Kübler-Ross talks about are not only the dying, but those with dementia and those who care for them.

Joanna. Joannaseibert.com

Just in time for the holidays

A Spiritual Rx for Advent Christmas, and Epiphany

The Sequel to A Spiritual Rx for Lent and Easter

Both are $18

All Money from sale of the books goes either to Camp Mitchel Camp and Conference Center in Arkansas or Hurricane Relief in the Diocese of Central Gulf Coast

Contact: joannaseibert@me.com

A Prayer of St. Chrysostom

“Almighty God, you have given us grace at this time with one accord to make our common supplication to you; and you have promised through your well-beloved Son that when two or three are gathered together in his Name you will be in the midst of them: Fulfill now, O Lord, our desires and petitions as may be best for us; granting us in this world knowledge of your truth, and in the age to come life everlasting. Amen.” —The Book of Common Prayer (Church Publishing, Inc.), p. 102.

How often I have said this prayer at the end of the daily Morning Prayer Office from The Book of Common Prayer, as well as sharing it with one or two others in desperate need. When we pray together, we affirm that God hears our prayer, most certainly even before we pray. As I say this prayer, I remember that C. S. Lewis always reminds us that we pray not to change God but to change ourselves.

As we pray this prayer in the Daily Office of Morning Prayer, we also can feel connected to all others in all places praying Morning Prayer along with us. That is why I have often joined a group of pray-ers saying prayers for a specific person that we know is in need or distress at a certain hour of the day. The deep realization that others are praying petitions for the same person or cause all over the country or the world is a force of nature. Sometimes we may later find out whether that person is safe or has improved; but always, always, we are changed.

St. Chrysostom’s prayer also reminds us of how fleeting fame is. Chrysostom, an archbishop of Constantinople in the late 4th century, often referred to as the “golden mouthed” because of his excellence in preaching, was the most famous early Christian preacher and most prolific writer, exceeded only by Augustine. He was outspoken about abuses in the Church and politics. His legacy is still a dominant influence in the Eastern Orthodox tradition, and his feast day is celebrated on September 13. However, I know only a few preachers in our Church who quote his famous Easter sermon, most often at the Vigil.

This daily prayer constitutes all that most of us in the Western Church still possess to remember him by; but because of its power and wisdom, it is more than enough.

Joanna. Joannaseibert.com

Just in time for the holidays

A Spiritual Rx for Advent Christmas, and Epiphany

The Sequel to A Spiritual Rx for Lent and Easter

Both are $18

All Money from sale of the books goes either to Camp Mitchel Camp and Conference Center in Arkansas or Hurricane Relief in the Diocese of Central Gulf Coast

Contact: joannaseibert@me.com

Labyrinths: Expectations, Surprises

“Not too long ago I walked a labyrinth for the first time in my life. I had flirted with labyrinths for years, but my expectations were so high that I kept finding reasons not to walk one. I did not want to hurry. I did not want to share the labyrinth with anyone who might distract me. I did not want to be disappointed. I looked forward to walking a labyrinth so much that looking forward to it kept me from doing it for years.” —Barbara Brown Taylor in An Altar in the World (HarperCollins, 2006).

Labyrinth at Arkansas Children’s Hospital

With her usual honesty, Barbra Brown Taylor reminds us of how our expectations of a spiritual practice can keep us from the practice. We may have fears that we will not find in a given practice the fulfillment that so many of our spiritual friends speak of. The reality, of course, is that it is impossible for us to be proficient in all of the spiritual practices. We can try them out, give each one some time, and afterwards may realize that one or more of them are not our best way to connect to God.

God has provided a smorgasbord of ways for us to connect to the holy. Some practices may be helpful at one stage in our life and not in another. At one time in my life, Morning Prayer and Lectio Divina stabilized my body and soul. At other times a daily walk around my neighborhood centered me before I went to work at the hospital. Now my central practice is writing; it has become my best form of prayer.

I talk to spiritual friends about not giving up or never considering a given spiritual practice again. Listen to the Spirit within. My experience is that we will often receive a nudge to return to one that we tried previously, but in new circumstances. What a blessing that we have so many ways to connect to God.

I struggle with Centering Prayer. I have difficulty just sitting still and calming the committee in my head; but I do not give up. However, walking the labyrinth is a natural for me. Concentrating on following its turns gives my mind a much-needed rest. Walking a path allows me to live in the present again rather than in the past or future. My surrender to the winding of the labyrinth—a metaphor for our spiritual journey—is a reminder of how we stay connected to God without and within. And journeying with others on the path enables us also to see God in our neighbor.

Early on in our walking, we come very close to the center. I think, “Aha, I have arrived”; but immediately after that premature thought, I am suddenly back around the edge. I find myself close to the edge near the end, and think I still have a long way to go. And not long after comes the realization that I am finished!

I need a meditation with movement to connect my soul to God. The labyrinth, dance, yoga, and other bodily movement meditations are ways to achieve quietness for those of us overwhelmed by the busyness of life. They allow us to “park” our minds, so that we are not constantly thinking about the past or the future.

My experience is that I do not always receive the gift of connection when I reach the labyrinth center. Instead, this sense of presence may come to me anywhere along the path. I remember one New Year’s Eve when I walked the labyrinth at Christ Church. It was chilly and I wore a shawl with fringes that looked like a drape that might cover your grandmother’s piano. Halfway out, I was enveloped by a new warmth. I felt the love of my grandmothers surrounding me like the comfort of the long black shawl.

Often as I walk I meditate on the words of Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese spiritual guide in walking meditation: “People say that walking on water is a miracle, but to me walking on earth is a real miracle.”

[See Thich Nhat Hanh, The Long Road Turns to Joy: A Guide to Walking Meditation (Parallax Press, 2007).]

Joanna. Joannaseibert.com

Just in time for the holidays

A Spiritual Rx for Advent Christmas, and Epiphany

The Sequel to A Spiritual Rx for Lent and Easter

Both are $18

All Money from sale of the books goes either to Camp Mitchel Camp and Conference Center in Arkansas or Hurricane Relief in the Diocese of Central Gulf Coast

Contact: joannaseibert@me.com