Looking for God

Looking for God

“Are you, like me, hoping that some person, thing, or event will come along to give you that final feeling of inner well-being you desire? Don’t you often hope: ‘May this book, idea, course, trip, job, country or relationship fulfill my deepest desire.’ But as long as you are waiting for that mysterious moment, you will go on running helter-skelter, always anxious and restless, always lustful and angry, never fully satisfied.”―Henri Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World.

One of my many bookcases

In my medical career, I know where to find answers, reading about diseases to solve mysteries of what is going on with my patients. It is only natural that I carry that over to my spiritual life. I have filled bookshelves and bookshelves and bookshelves as I seek the truth of peace and connection to God. The answer seems right there on the next page. I go to the book’s last page; alas, it must be hiding, for I cannot find it. So, I eagerly purchase the author’s next book, again hoping to connect to the truth that seems so close. I go to their next workshop or conference. I find another author there, and I repeat the same cycle. I go to day retreats, silent retreats, week-long gatherings, and pilgrimages, knowing that answers will be at that place or that time. 

Nouwen says from his experience that this compulsive journey only leads to spiritual exhaustion, leading to spiritual death.

I return to my medical practice and remember that I often learned the answers from my patients if I listened to them. My patients and their medical findings, where it hurt, how long they were in pain, and how it felt to touch. That is where answers come in the present moment.

In our spiritual life, C.S. Lewis tells us we meet God in the present moment. This means that God’s appearance in the present moment is not in the busyness of seeking God in a new place or with a new mentor. The present moment is always right in front of us. It is in the air we breathe. It is with each person we meet in our routine daily life. It is in the tree outside our window or the birds who come to feed. God is in all these other places and people, and right in front of us wherever we are. We only have to stop our busyness long enough to say, “Hello, I love you, too, and thank you.”

But we cannot hold onto the love and peace that living in the present brings. Instead, this love must be shared with each breath, person, or part of nature we encounter. There it multiplies and changes not only us, but sometimes the world.

Joanna   https://www.joannaseibert.com/

Inner Work

Johnson: Inner Work

“All forms of interaction with the unconscious that nourished our ancestors—dream, vision, ritual, religious experience—are largely lost, dismissed by the modern mind as primitive or superstitious. In our hubris, our faith in our unassailable reason, cuts ourselves off from our origins in the unconscious and from the deepest parts of ourselves.”—Robert Johnson in Inner Work: Using Dreams and Active Imagination for Personal Growth (Harper & Row, 1989).

My spiritual director recently posted this quote on Facebook. It is an affirmation of an alternative path that many are beginning again. Our book group reread the revised version of Joyce Rockwood Hudson’s Natural Spirituality. Recently, we were in a clergy group and announced that we were studying Natural Spirituality. Two members who had recently finished seminary had no idea what we were talking about. When we mentioned dream work, they were even more in the dark and maybe a little suspicious. However, older clergy in the group had been studying dreams for some time and affirmed the value of the study.

We have been involved in dream groups for over thirty years. Dreamwork is one of the many ways to discern what God calls us to do. My experience is that it is vital to participate in a group of people studying their own and each other’s dreams. Unfortunately, most of us find it challenging to discern dreams by ourselves. 

There are many factors to consider. Dreams tell us something we don’t already know. Parts of ourselves may block new information.

Think of our experience in other discussion groups when novel ideas come up. At least one person invariably flings out an automatic “no” to an alternative way of doing things. “That is not how we have done it in the past.” It always takes time for the entire group to process the information and decide to go in a new direction.

Likewise, a dream group of friends looking at a dream from outside of our own ego may gently guide us in a new direction that the automatic “no” part of us might have shut down. We look for these insights into our inner life until the light bulb turns on inside and outside us. I like Joyce Rockwood Hudson’s subtitle of her book, A Handbook for Jungian Inner Work in Spiritual Community.

Joanna https://www.joannaseibert.com/

Writing Icons

Writing Icons

Guest Writer Ann Rapp

Iconographer’s Prayer

O DIVINE LORD of all that exists, enlighten and direct my soul, my heart, and my spirit. Guide the hands of your unworthy servant so that I may worthily and lovingly portray this Icon for your glory, the joy of all, and the adornment of your Church. Amen.

Icon writing is a prayerful, meditative, slow, meticulous, and calming occupation. For me, it is like being in a beautiful church service or prayer meeting. Preparing the materials is slow and contemplative: first, we grind a natural earth pigment, such as yellow ochre, until very fine, mix it with egg yolk and vinegar, then water to make a paint. A natural bristle brush is used on a wooden panel, and the icon is painted with many layers of paint, resulting in the luminous quality of some icons. The shadow or dark side is painted first, and lighter layers build up over time to show the shape and the light emerging. 

The icon writer prays before picking up the brush to begin, the first and most important rule of iconography. I like to listen to sacred music or chant while I work to help me keep a reverential yet humble attitude. 

Ann Rapp

Joanna   https://www.joannaseibert.com/