God Hole

God Hole

“There is a really deep well inside me. And in it dwells God. Sometimes, I am there too. But more often stones and grit block the well, and God is buried beneath.”—Etty Hillesum, An Interrupted Life, Daily Quote, Inwardoutward.org, Church of the Saviour, June 28, 2018.

Etty Hillesum was a young Jewish woman studying law in the Netherlands in the 1940s who lived down the street from Anne Frank. She died at 29 in the Nazi concentration camp at Auschwitz. She kept a diary of her inner life, published after her death, describing the severe persecution of the Jews in Holland during those times.

Her transformation from fear and hate to love, caring, kindness, and compassion for those suffering around her makes her an icon for us today. Through the help of her psychotherapist, she learned to see the God hole in people and situations during those unbelievably troublesome times, and fill that God hole with the love she had known.

This is indeed our ministry as spiritual friends. Each of us has a hole in our mind, our heart, and our body that only God can fill. So, instead, we try to fill it with relationships, food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, sports, work, power, family, writing, reading, and patriotism.
We can also fill it with hate, persecution, bigotry, self-centeredness, intimidation, cruelty, negativity, pessimism, hopelessness, despair, apathy, and indifference. As spiritual friends, God calls us to help each other find that God hole and fill it with the best unconditional love we can muster.

It begins with our presence with each other and listening.

I remember a dear friend who comes into my office at the hospital early one morning about a relationship that had recently broken up. He was depressed, sad, broken-hearted, and in tears. We talked for some time. But, mostly, I listened and tried to let him know how much I cared about him.
Late in the conversation, I mentioned the God hole. Somehow, he intuitively realized that this relationship had completely filled his God hole. I only had to say very few words. Then, a light bulb went on. I rarely mention the God hole when someone is suffering so greatly, but something moved me to bring it up that early morning.
Hopefully, the Holy Spirit was guiding both of us.

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Joanna https://www.joannaseibert.com/

cloud of the Unknowing

Cloud of Unknowing

“The universes which are amenable to the intellect can never satisfy the instincts of the heart.”—The Cloud of Unknowing, Anonymous.

I recall the morning some time ago, before flying back to Arkansas from Montana. I looked forward to seeing blue skies above a cloudy day. Also, the older I get, the more anxious I seem on travel days. I wake up early in the morning and look out on Whitefish Lake to see a large cloud above the water. It seems to be getting larger and closer to the water. There is no sound except for an occasional crow calling nearby and a slight breeze rustling the aspen leaves in the trees beside the beach. The quiet, the cloud now turning into the fog, which is more like a whisper as it approaches the lake, gives this spot of northern Montana a mystical countenance.

The timeless 14th-century book The Cloud of Unknowing by Anonymous enlightens us about Christian mysticism. We call something mystical if it is not obvious to our senses or minds. When we see such beauty as the clouds and the lake on this cool early morning, we cannot explain the experience by what we know. It calms my soul on a day when I pray for calm, patience, and flexibility. Our experience tells us we have known this presence before, when we took the time to be present with it.

I hope this trip with my family has reinforced that. I long to stay present in the moment and not miss again the many clouds of unknowing that disappear as I write about them. I will stop writing so I can experience the clouds one last time. I long to keep them in the album of my imagination of times experiencing the majestic beauty of the precious present.

Joanna https://www.joannaseibert.com/

Wearing God

Wearing God

“Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ.”— Romans 13:14 NIV.

There are over one hundred biblical passages about clothing, and many, like this one, refer to putting God on as if we were wearing God. I recommend Lauren Winner’s book called Wearing God. She reminds us that God made clothing for them even as Adam and Eve left paradise. (Genesis 3:8-15). God clothes us, asks us to clothe others, and when we do, tells us we are clothing God. (Matthew 25).

  What we wear communicates a great deal about who and what we are. We feel and often act differently depending on the clothes we wear. My experience is when I put on my clothes, I often remember an occasion when I last wore them, and I feel differently than before I put them on. I have many clothes I should give away, but I cannot because I look at them and remember a lasting experience I had wearing them. They are like a scrapbook of times when I was with others or alone and knew I was loved and cared for by the God of love.

Many people in Mourner’s Path, our grief recovery group, talk of wearing a piece of clothing of their loved one who has died, often a shirt. The smell, the feel, brings them closer to that person.

 I particularly remember wearing a black shawl one New Year’s Eve when I walked a labyrinth at Christ Church. Suddenly, I felt the love of my deceased grandmothers wrapping around me, keeping me safe, loved, and warm like the shawl around my shoulders.

I also remember the first Sunday after my ordination. I stayed late at St. Margaret’s talking with friends and was late meeting my extended family, still celebrating at a Chinese restaurant for brunch. I was pushing my way through the crowded restaurant to meet my family, and suddenly remembered, “I am now wearing a clerical collar. Perhaps I should not push my way through restaurants anymore!” I slowed down.

Two more clothing verses.

“Put on the whole armor of God, so that you can stand against the devil’s schemes.” (Ephesians 6:11 NIV) I often keep this Ephesian passage with me when I go into a difficult situation.

Another passage from Colossians explains even more the meaning of wearing the armor of God and what we can take to those demanding situations. “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” (Colossians 3:12). This is a quite different coat of armor Paul tells us to wear.

Here is a suggestion. For the next week, as we dress, buttoning our shirts, zipping up our dresses, pulling up our socks, hose, and pants, putting on our shoes, consciously imagine we are putting on God, wearing Christ, especially compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, as Paul suggests. Could that possibly make any difference in how we feel about ourselves/or how we treat others just for that day?

Joanna. https://www.joannaseibert.com/