New Doors Opening

Change and New Doors Opening

Kidd: Spiritual Whittling
“There’s an old Carolina story I like about a country boy with a great talent for carving beautiful dogs out of wood. He sat on his porch whittling daily, letting the shavings fall around him. A visitor, greatly impressed, asked him the secret of his art. “I just take a block of wood and whittle off the parts that don’t look like a dog,” he replied….

In spiritual whittling, though, we don’t discard the shavings. Transformation happens not by rejecting these parts of ourselves but by gathering them up and integrating them. Through this process we reach a new wholeness. Spiritual whittling is an encounter with Mystery, waiting, the silence of inner places—all those things most folks no longer have time for.”—Sue Monk Kidd in When the Heart Waits (HarperOne 2016 )

This is also my experience of transformation. I constantly realize parts of my life that keep me “together” or keep me connected to God that are useful at one time, and later become tired and worn and need to rest. Our ministry or what we have to offer changes.

One of the most challenging changes for me was leaving my medical practice. That was my identity. But I wanted to do so many other things. It becomes more challenging to keep up with the constantly changing technical, medical world if we do not stay with it constantly. I learned that just because we are good at one ministry doesn’t mean we should always keep doing it. We may be keeping others from the joy of that ministry, and they may even do it better! Also, the wisdom we learn from one career or ministry is always useful for the next one. Nothing is ever wasted.

I am also learning to be more vigilant about habits that kept me safe during some parts of my life, which later became destructive.

What am I trying to say? Life is about constantly giving up control or the illusion that we are in control. It is being open to change, letting doors shut, but being available to enter new doors or not being afraid to sit in the hallway for a while, waiting to hear the squeak of another door opening. Finally, it is about trusting, avoiding being stuck and stagnating, or thinking we are out of options.

What new doors will be opened to us this Lent?

Joanna   https://www.joannaseibert.com/

 

 

 

 

Leonard Cohen

Leonard Cohen

“You let me sing, you lifted me up, you have my soul a beam to travel on. You folded your distance back into my heart. You drew the tears back to my eyes. You hid me in the mountain of your word. You gave the injury a tongue to heal itself. You covered my head with my teacher’s care, you bound my arm with my grandfather’s strength. O beloved speaking, O comfort whispering in the terror, unspeakable explanation of the smoke and cruelty, undo the self-conspiracy, let me dare the boldness of joy.”―Leonard Cohen, “Poem 19,” Book of Mercy, 1984.

My husband and I recently watched a remarkable documentary about Leonard Cohen’s song Hallelujah and its 80 to 180 verses he wrote during his lifetime. Indeed, the music and its verses documented the Canadian poet and songwriter’s life. The story of the life of Hallelujah was just as fascinating. It took Cohen five years to write the song.

 Cohen initially released Hallelujah in an album rejected by a major record company in this country, and it was released only in England in 1984, where it was minimally successful. Only when other popular singers, John Cale and Jeff Buckley, began performing Hallelujah did its widespread popularity get its start. Amazingly, the use of Cale’s Hallelujah in the animated movie Shrek in 2001 skyrocketed the song. Then, with Cohen’s death in November 2016, the music reached international prominence again.

I remember first being moved by Hallelujah when k.d. lang performed it at the Opening Ceremonies of the Winter Olympics in Vancouver, Canada, in 2010. She was dressed in white on a high stage, singing the anthem with all her heart.

Lang described the verses as the struggle between human desire and spiritual wisdom. The early verses have biblical references to Samson and Delilah, as well as King David and Bathsheba. Many see the music and lyrics swaying between blessings and losses. This history of the anthem and its lyrics seem to be a remarkable timeline for the spiritual autobiography of Cohen’s life.

What music could each of us write to share the timeline of our spiritual autobiography?

Mary Dwyer: Forgiveness

Mary Dwyer: Forgiveness

"Forgiveness is not forgetting, not condoning, not a form of absolution, not a pretense, not a once and for all decision, and not a sign of weakness but of strength."—Mary Dwyer, One Day Retreat of Contemplative Outreach, Learning to Forgive, February 10, 2018, St. Mark's.

At a forgiveness workshop with Mary Dwyer from Contemplative Outreach, Ltd., at St. Mark's, we learned some basics to start the journey of forgiveness. She reminds us that forgiveness is the only conditional part of the Lord's Prayer, "forgive our sins, as we forgive others."

Reconciliation involves both parties. Forgiveness involves only one party.

 Mary cautioned us about forgiving too soon.

She used the process from Fr. William A. Meninger's book, The Process of Forgiveness. The first stage of beginning to forgive involves claiming the hurt, often by writing about it.

 Telling our story is also a big part of Bishop Tutu's book, The Book of Forgiving. In the second stage of healing, we feel guilty that maybe we did something wrong for the harm to happen. Here, we are healed by comforting our inner child.

In the third stage, we see ourselves as the victim. Mary gave examples of how so many people get stuck in this stage. Their whole life centers around some hurt many years ago. Support groups help in this stage, as we see we are not the only ones who have been harmed. 

In the fourth stage, we become angry about the hurt. Anger brings with it a tremendous energy and clarity. If we can transform that energy, we can start healing as we release this energy and become whole again.

What helps me the most is knowing that the person who has harmed me is still hurting me as long as I cannot forgive them. 

Mary then described a process of active imagination with God and the person who has harmed us called the Forgiveness Prayer. After a period of Centering Prayer, we imagine our own sacred space with God very close to us. She imagines she is sitting in God's lap. My sacred space would be sitting on the white sandy beach by the ocean, watching the waves come gently in as the seagulls fly in and out at the water's edge. We then invite someone who has harmed us to come into our space. We tell them all that they have done to hurt us. Then we ask them if we have hurt them, and then ask them for forgiveness.

Sometimes, having a picture of the person who harmed us may help us speak to them. This is not a one-time event but may require many encounters. The Forgiveness Prayer is helpful for me when the person who harmed me refuses to talk about it. The Prayer allows us to speak to that person in a safe place where we cannot be injured again and acknowledge our mistakes.

Mary also recommends praying daily for the person who has harmed us until we are ready to forgive.

another sacred space