Less Anxious Presence

Non-anxious presence/or less anxious presence

“The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach - waiting for a gift from the sea.”—Anne Morrow Lindbergh in Gift from the Sea (Pantheon 1955, 1991).

Anne Morrow Lindbergh describes our ideal position in our relationships and ministries. We are waiting “choiceless,” like at the beach, for the gift from the sea to know the next direction and the next words, especially in any decision or conflict.

Family Systems dynamics teach us that if we can remain a non-anxious presence in tension in relationships with others, we may keep tensions from growing and eventually solve any dilemma. I know few who can remain non-anxious, for it is not a human trait. However, staying less anxious is a real possibility.

If we can be the least anxious presence in any situation, we can keep the arteries in our body from tightening up, which takes minutes and weeks off our lifespan. Our inner and outer presence will stay calmer. We become a vessel for the spirit to become part of the relationship, decision, situation, meeting, encounter, or ministry.

Answer: How do we become like the beach waiting for the gift from the sea Lindbergh describes? It certainly involves spiritual disciplines. Prayer and meditation before, during, and after each decision, ministry, and relationship are a vast beginning.

We learn from our own spiritual disciplines and from hearing the experience of spiritual disciplines that others follow: centering prayer, morning prayer, yoga, a rule of life, spiritual direction, corporate worship, and study. There are many more. Our tradition, scripture, and reason tell us that these disciplines are gifts from God to help us care for our souls and those of others.

 But we should never forget Lindbergh’s central message. The world in nature outside our confined world is also the primary setting from which to learn, know, and feel the rhythm of waiting to receive Lindbergh’s gift from the sea.

Joanna  https://www.joannaseibert.com/

Wearing God

Wearing God

“Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ.”— Romans 13:14 NIV.

with Peggy and Merry Helen

There are over one hundred biblical passages about clothing, and many, like this one, refer to putting God on as if we were wearing God. I recommend Lauren Winner’s book, Wearing God. She reminds us that God made clothing for them even as Adam and Eve left paradise. (Genesis 3:8-15). God clothes us, asks us to clothe others, and when we do, tells us we are clothing God. (Matthew 25).

  What we wear communicates a great deal about who and what we are. We feel and often act differently depending on the clothes we wear. My experience is when I put on my clothes, I frequently remember an occasion when I last wore them, and I feel differently than before I put them on.

I have many clothes I should give away, but I cannot because I look at them and remember a lasting experience I had wearing them. They are like a scrapbook of times when I was with others or alone and knew I was loved and cared for by the God of love.

Many people in Mourner’s Path, our grief recovery group, talk of wearing a piece of clothing of their loved one who has died, often a shirt. The smell, the feel, brings them closer to that person.

 I particularly remember wearing a black shawl one New Year’s Eve when I walked a labyrinth at Christ Church. Suddenly, I felt the love of my deceased grandmothers wrapping around me, keeping me safe, loved, and warm like the shawl around my shoulders.

I also remember the first Sunday after my ordination. I stayed late at St. Margaret’s talking with friends and was late meeting my extended family, still celebrating at a Chinese restaurant for brunch. I was pushing my way through the crowded restaurant to meet my family and suddenly remembered, “I am now wearing a clerical collar. Perhaps I should not push my way through restaurants anymore!” I slowed down.

The treasured photograph is being with a priest and another deacon as we were vesting for a special service for women at Saint Mark’s. It was a privilege to be with two women who constantly wear God and share that God of love with others. I hope to remember them and what they have shared with me each time I vest before a service, putting on another layer as we try to wear God.

Two more clothing verses.

“Put on the whole armor of God, so that you can stand against the devil’s schemes.” (Ephesians 6:11 NIV) I often keep this Ephesian passage with me when encountering a difficult situation.

Another passage from Colossians explains even more the meaning of wearing the armor of God and what we can take to those demanding situations. “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” (Colossians 3:12). This is a quite different coat of armor Paul tells us to wear.

Here is a suggestion. For the next week, as we dress, buttoning our shirts, zipping up our dresses, pulling up our socks, hose, and pants, putting on our shoes, consciously imagine we are putting on God, wearing Christ, especially compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, as Paul suggests. Could that possibly make any difference in how we feel about ourselves/or how we treat others just for that day?

Joanna. https://www.joannaseibert.com/

Zero-Sum and Non-Zero or Positive Sum Living

Nouwen: Zero-Sum

“Fearful people say: ‘There’s not enough food for everyone, so I better save enough for myself in case of emergency,’ or ‘There’s not enough knowledge for everyone to enjoy, so I’d better keep my knowledge to myself, so no one else will use it’ or ‘There’s not enough love to give to everybody, so I’d better keep my friends for myself to prevent others from taking them away from me.’

This is a scarcity mentality. It involves hoarding whatever we have, fearful that we won’t have enough to survive. The tragedy is what you cling to ends up rotting in your hands.”—Henri Nouwen, “Temptation to Hoard,” Henri Nouwen Society Daily meditation, May 6, 2017. From Bread for the Journey, Henri J. M. Nouwen (HarperSanFrancisco 1997).

Nouwen first describes our life as a zero-sum mentality. We can only do well, win, or succeed if someone else loses, so we will not share because there is so much food, love, and land to go around.  

zero-sum: one wins at the expense of someone else losing

There is one pie. If someone takes a slice, there is less for the rest. So, one person’s gain is another’s loss. This theory describes situations where total wins and losses add up to zero. Thus, one party benefits at the direct expense of another.

There is only so much and not enough for all. Some must lose for others to gain. It is a competitive scarcity worldview that leads to nationalism and a fear-based society.

 The opposite of the scarcity mentality is a positive-sum situation or abundance mentality, which occurs when the total gains and losses are greater than zero. A positive-sum plan occurs when we see resources as abundant. We plan an approach where the desires and needs of all concerned are satisfied.

One example would be when two parties gain financially by participating in a contest, regardless of who wins or loses. Positive-sum outcomes occur in distributive bargaining, where different interests are negotiated to meet everyone’s needs. With an abundance mentality, there is enough for all.

How we view our neighbors, ourselves, and the world is totally different in these two views. A zero-sum lifestyle is isolated and lonely, with our own self-interest guiding us. A positive-sum life sees abundance and gives away and shares food, love, and knowledge to those in need. Consequently, Nouwen reminds us, “There are many leftovers.”

Jesus’ feeding of the 5000, found in all four gospels, is a story of a positive-sum experience.

 My experience is that I live in fear with a zero-sum lifestyle when I compete with others for the love, attention, or support of some entity or person. However, there is peace in my life when I live, knowing there is enough love, support, or attention for all.

Joanna      https://www.joannaseibert.com/