Diane Butler Bass: Belonging, Behaving, and Believing

Butler Bass: Belonging

“Instead of believing, behaving, and belonging, we need to reverse the order to belonging, behaving, and believing. Jesus did not begin with questions of belief. Instead, Jesus’ public ministry started when he formed a community.”—Diana Butler Bass in Christianity After Religion: The End of Church and the Birth of a New Spiritual Awakening (HarperOne 2011), pp. 11-64.

Belonging Summer Quest Camp Mitchell 2024

Diana Butler Bass tries to help us understand what is happening in the present-day changing Christian landscape, where religion is no longer the center of a member’s life. She reminds us that our religion started with community, not confession.

Belonging. Saint Mark’s Women Advent Luncheon

Thomas Watkins from Wilson, North Carolina, also tries to explain how our church might change using the South’s love of football in an article in the Journal of Preacher (“Game Day: Becoming a New Church in an Old South,” Pentecost 2017, vol. 40, no. 4) “They (fans) are not asked to show their diplomas at the stadium gate.”

One of the most frequent questions of those seeking spiritual direction is, “I don’t know if I believe or what I believe anymore. Maybe I am no longer a Christian.” If the person belongs to a confessional denomination or church of orthodoxy, where they must believe a specific set of doctrines, this can sometimes be a problem.

Some denominations are churches of orthopraxy, where members are held together because of how they worship or practice their faith. In that circumstance, a changing belief is considered, at times, an asset, a sign of growth. Our relationship to God will change as our God becomes larger, as we see the Christ in more and more people, people who are very different from ourselves.

 I often quote that line I first heard from Alan Jones at a Trinity Wall Street conference at Kanuga in the early 2000s: “The opposite of faith is not doubt, but certainty.”

Doubting signifies that God is working in us; our relationship is changing. Sometimes, this change in the relationship can feel like the movement of the earth’s tectonic plates. Sometimes, it can be like a volcano erupting.

Behaving and Believing. Barkley Teaching

But, if we can take it as a good and not a bad thing and try to stay steady, a new relationship and a new life will arise. I remember a quote from Catherine Marshall, “Those who never rebel against God or at some point in their lives have never shaken their fists in the face of heaven have never encountered God at all.”

Community is so important in this process. In a church alive with the spirit, there will be many others who have experienced this awakening who can walk and hold a steady hand when the foundations that we thought were our beliefs are threatened.

We see that these beliefs are not endangered but enlarged. We learn about these enlarging connections to God through belonging to a community.

You can follow Diane Butler Bass online at Diane Butler Bass The Cottage dianabutlerbass@substack.com

Joanna                https://www.joannaseibert.com/

Investing in Friendships

Investing in Friendships

Guest writer and artist: Ken Fellows

      Over a lifetime, a number of human encounters occur. Some are brief and inconsequential, others intense, fulfilling, and enduring. Some special friendships thrive and compound like invested assets …and then, like investments, slip away from neglect, gaffe, or misfortune. In my 80s now, I often reflect on old friendships as having three stages, much like funds in a bank account: successive periods of accumulation, interest-bearing, and withdrawal.

 Accumulation:  The longest enduring friendships of my life began in my 20s after I became a physician and married. Some were friends from medical school in Michigan –one was a classmate, Dr. Bill G. (convivial med-student turned cardiac physician/researcher), and his family endured as friends and neighbors in Boston for 30 years. Several buddies arose from an intense internship in Oregon, where our mutual dependence was fostered by a year of being on-call every other night. My internship partner from those days was Dr. John W. A year later, we were conscripted into the US Navy together. We then attended each other’s weddings. Despite John’s life far from me in California, he and I have corresponded and visited for 60 years.

     As an academic physician for 32 years in Boston and Philadelphia, I came to know many intelligent, stimulating, and fascinating individuals. Roy S., a fellow pediatric radiologist with me at Boston Children’s Hospital, was like a brother for six decades. Similarly, academic medical and personal family connections with colleague Dr. Bob L., humorous, Irish-bred cardiologist Barry K., and revered pathologists Richard and Stella V.P. have long endured.

     Teaching and lecturing at hospitals at medical gatherings occasionally arose for me across the USA. I also served as a visiting physician at university hospitals in Germany, Switzerland, India, China, and Australia. In many of those visits, I made new friendships and revisited colleagues with whom I had previously worked in Boston and Philadelphia.

     Another group of friends are the neighbors we’ve gained over many years of owning a retirement home in Kittery, Maine. My association with town committees, local organizations (particularly the Kittery Land Trust and local York Hospital), and public gatherings (for memoir writing, watercolor painting, and book groups) have provided numbers of other good friends. In two instances, particularly close bonds began and still exist between two neighboring Kittery Point families, the Rowans and the Meads. With them, we’ve intimately shared all of life’s momentous events, from births and adoptions to illnesses and deaths.

Compounding Interest: Our bonds of local, national, and international friendships have been maintained and grown through recurrent family visits, reunions at domestic and foreign medical meetings, and recurring exchanges of home visits with families throughout the US and other countries.

       Not only have the adults remained committed friends, but our children have stayed in contact, often as good chums, with the children of the other families. A poignant example occurred when our oldest son, Ian, died at 37. His life-long friend, Michel W., a professional European musician, traveled from Switzerland to play a violin tribute at Ian’s memorial service. They had been buddies for nearly 40 years since our young families bonded in Boston. Another intimate connection was made back then with another Swiss, Dr. Christian F. He, his wife Catherine, and my wife Kristin and I have spent delightful times vacationing together in Basel, assorted French cities, and here in Kittery. Memorable effects of our diverse friendships are also the summer visitations spent with us by the children of friends … young Debra from Utah, teen Olivier from France, and Rafael (aka “el dormido”.. because he mostly slept) from Spain. How fortunate we’ve been…. this building of extended family alliances which have fostered mutual personal enrichment and fond memories.  

Withdrawal:  The demise of good friends is a sad and inevitable part of old age. Sometimes, the individuals survive, but it’s the friendship that dies. The unceasing and progressive loss of friends and loved ones is depressing. While these personal losses may be considered analogous to the withdrawal of capital from one’s bank accounts, the psychological effects are largely incomparable.

      Naturally, the frequency of my friends’ deaths is accelerating. My closest chums from medical school and internship some 60 years ago are mostly gone. Of my many colleagues from Boston, only two still survive, both considerably infirmed. Here in our Kittery retirement, there have been losses, too. Of 7 senior men who began meeting monthly for coffee and conversation 20 years ago, only one remains, and replacement candidates are scarce.

      It is possible that one can eventually become inured to the deaths of friends and loved ones, but not easily. I’m working on ‘forbearing resignation.’ In my most reflective moments, I assuage my discomfort with this quote from writer Robert Reich:  

     “You only have a certain number of old friends. A limited number have told you about their marriages, their kids, and their hopes and frustration … and you have done the same with them. As they age and as you age, you have gone through changes together. It’s these cumulative understandings that give integrity and meaning to strong friendships. Old friends are irreplaceable. When they pass, a piece of you passes.”

Ken Fellows

Joanna  joannaseibert.com

Wiederkehr: Pressing the Space Bar in Our Lives

Wiederkehr: Pressing the Space Bar in Our Lives

“Long ago, when I was learning to type, I used to delight in typing letters to my friends without pressing the space bar. Now, when you don’t press the space bar, you’ve got a real mess, and much decoding must be done. The spaces in between enable us to understand the message.”—Macrina Wiederkehr in The Song of the Seed: A Monastic Way of Tending the Soul (HarperOne, 1997).

I remember reading this message from Sister Wiederkehr more than twenty years ago, and it still jumps off the page for me. She reminds us that many forget to press the space bar in our lives. She calls it hurry sickness. After finishing this email, project, phone call, or meeting, we will rest. But we always have something else to do, and the rest never happens. Macrina calls us to regular spaces of contemplation, meditation, or silence at intervals in our lives.

One of my favorite definitions of such a “space” is to stop what we are doing and attend a Quaker meeting in our heads. Macrina reminds us of a Native American admonition to listen, or our tongue will keep us deaf! I often experience this when I wake up in the morning, and suddenly, an answer or idea comes after that long rest during the night. Likewise, when I stop to say prayers at daily intervals, life is more peaceful.

But I can so easily become the driver of a Mack truck coming down a steep hill without brakes and hurriedly rushing during the day from task to task without stopping.

Today, my best help in “spacing” is looking up intermittently from my floor-to-ceiling window on the other side of my desk and watching the birds at my feeder. Sometimes, they actually chant and call me to prayer.

My husband gave me a clock that sounds the hour with a bird call. Every hour I now also hear a call to stop and say a short prayer, usually the Jesus prayer. This has been a great gift.

Our computers and iPhones also speak to us. Have you ever noticed how much bigger the space bar is than the letter keys?

Give thanks today for Macrina and the many lives she has touched in Arkansas and worldwide.

Joanna. https://www.joannaseibert.com/