How Mirrors Can Change Our Lives

Mirrors and Changing Our Lives

 “What we see in other people – particularly those who affront us – is ourselves. They wouldn’t get to us the way they do if they didn’t already have a place in us. They are the mirror. Either that, or we are being visited by someone we will become. Rather than looking upon them with distance or disdain, treat them with kindness because they are kin to us.”—Br. Curtis Almquist, Society of Saint John the Evangelist

Esther Harding also concisely explains how we change as we see ourselves in others. We change as we become aware of our sins and faults, as they are reflected in someone else. We often recognize the parts of ourselves that need to change only as they are reflected in others. We say, “This is awful. I do not want to be like that.” Then, through some unknown factor, perhaps God’s Grace, we realize that character defect, that sin, that failing is also in us. I often find myself not wanting to be around a particular person. That is usually a clue that they carry a trait I do not recognize in myself, but seeing it in the other person, I am repulsed by it.

The reverse side of this truth is that sometimes, the people we most admire carry a gift we do not recognize in ourselves.

I also know from 12-step work how people change. They hit bottom or fear hitting a bottom. They become so overwhelmed by their condition, so “sick and tired” of how miserable their life is, that they will do anything to change it. They see someone else who has recovered from addiction and wish for that life. They then seek help from them.

So, what does all this do with our life in the Spirit? My experience is that it is indeed the Spirit, the Christ, the God within us, that is a catalyst for change, that whispers in our ear that those defects we acknowledge in others may also be in us—that a better life is possible. Those in 12-step programs call it a “moment of clarity.” I believe God is speaking to us at that moment of clarity, and we can listen. Finally, we can hear, as Benedict tells us, with “the ear of our heart.”

Eventually, we see others as gifts, whether they repulse us or we admire them. We share similarities that we learn through inner work. We learn to thank them for their presence in our lives.

Recognizing God in Each Other

Recognizing God in each other

“He who recognizes a king in disguise treats him differently from he who sees before him only the figure of an ordinary man and treats him accordingly. Likewise, souls who can recognize God in the most trivial, the most grievous, and most mortifying things that happen to them, honour everything equally with delight and welcome with open arms what others dread and avoid.”—Jean-Pierre de Caussade in The Sacrament of the Present Moment (HarperOne, 1966).

I know people like this who seem to treat everyone equally. One person is no more important than another. All are human and divine simultaneously. They seem to see the Holy Spirit, the God, the Christ in each person they meet. They do not merely look at a person's outer appearances, political stature, wealth, or power. Christ indeed modeled this approach for us.

My experience teaches me that we cannot see Christ in our neighbor, because we cannot see Christ in ourselves. Consequently, we project onto others our unchristlike behavior that we do not realize is really within us.

How do we change? Along the way, someone comes into our life who treats us as if we contain a divine spark, the holy within us—that is, they react to us with love. It is as though a spark has been lit. A light, a lightbulb, goes on inside of us. We begin to believe we are loved.

So, our mission as spiritual friends is to seek the light, the Christ, in each other.

I remember talking to a spiritual friend about a family member I struggled with. She helped me by asking me, “Tell me something good about her. Something she does well.”

My experience has also shown me that I cannot see Christ in someone else when I live in fear. I realized this recently when attending a meeting at which I was uncomfortable. I wanted to look good. However, I did not know precisely what they expected of me. I was fearful that I might make a mistake. As an introvert, I only interacted with people I knew. I only had concerns about what people might think about me. Was I making a good impression?

At our next meeting, I hope to connect more effectively with others. My plan is to pray for each person who will be there, just before the meeting, asking that we see Christ within each other. I will let you know how it goes.

Joanna. https://www.joannaseibert.com/

 

Speaking Lectio Divina and the Jesus Prayer

 Speaking Lectio Divina  and the Jesus Prayer

“The meditatio [meditation part in Lectio Divina] is done not with one’s mind, but with one’s mouth. When the psalmist tells us how he loves to meditate and finds it sweeter to his palate than honey from the honeycomb, is he talking about meditation merely as an intellectual exercise? I like to think that he is also talking about the constant recitation of God’s law—so he meditates as much with his mouth as with his head.”—Anthony de Mello in Sadhana: A Way to God (Liguori, 1998).

contemplation Jean Francois. Portaels

De Mello also offers a unique method to practice the Benedictine Lectio divina. He suggests we read Scripture (lectio) until the word or phrase resonates with us, and then stop (meditatio) and constantly repeat the word with pauses. In this way, we pray not only with our minds, but also with our bodies. Then, when we feel saturated with the word, we stop and enter into prayer (oratio). He also suggests expanding the exercise to chanting, perhaps with others, along with large segments of silence.

De Mello adds an extra dimension to the Jesus Prayer by imagining Jesus with each word, saying his name with each breath, and finally hearing Jesus call us by name.

De Mello tells the story of the significant guilt of a man who barely misses his father’s death. My experience is that this is often an impetus that brings many people to spiritual direction. I am constantly amazed at how God works. God calls us back even—and maybe even especially—by those who have died. God calls us through the good and challenging times of our lives to connect with those who can guide us into spiritual practices that lead us back to God.

De Mello calls us to live intimately and fully in the present moment, to become part of the grand mystery of God’s love for us and all creation. The present is where we meet God; it is also where spiritual exercises like Lectio divina and praying the Jesus prayer carry us.