“’Honor your Father and you mother,’ says the Fifth Commandment (Exodus 20:12). Honor them for having taken care of you before you were old enough to take care of yourself.” Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking and later in Beyond Words.
Buechner reminds us of the fifth commandment to honor our parents. He reminds us to honor them because they loved us and cared for us.
I sat with a group of friends last week and we all spontaneously started talking about scars from our parents, particularly our mothers. Some had been abused, neglected by their parents. Some did not receive the love they had hoped for from their parents. Some had parents who never grew up to be the adults that a child needed for mentoring and protection.
Buechner reminds us that our parents also had scars. They were doing the best they could with what they knew. He also reminds us that we should always be grateful to them for the gift of life that they gave to us.
We then wondered what our children would say about us, the scars we have given to them because of our imperfections.
Our prayers became that we can still make living amends for the harm we have done and that we can stop some of the behavior that we have inherited and be grateful for the rich heritage that we hope to honor.