Esther Harding: Change
“We cannot change anyone else; we can change only ourselves, and then usually only when the elements that need reform have become conscious through their reflection in someone else.”—M. Esther Harding in The ‘I’ and the ‘Not-I’: A Study in the Development of Consciousness at InwardOutward.org.
seeing our own defects in others.
Esther Harding was a British American and was considered the first significant Jungian analyst to practice in this country. Her first book, The Way of All Women (1975), was one of the first books I read in my early days of seeking to connect to feminine spirituality.
President Jimmy Carter wrote about reaching a point where we can give thanks for our difficulties during his final years. That is almost impossible, but I can see his reasoning more clearly in Esther Harding’s writings.
We wear our character defects and self-centeredness like an old, tattered bathrobe that is both ugly and yet comfortable and familiar. Our habitual manner of life has become our familiar identity. We can only recognize these defects and behavior patterns in others, as they repulse us, and finally, identify them as our own. Our behavior and reaction to the world keep us from connecting to God.
I am continually amazed by how God uses everything to bring us back to God’s love and connect us to the God within us and our neighbor. We discover what blocks us from God’s love by first recognizing the barriers in others and realizing how unattractive they are.
At some point, when the time is right, I can share Harding’s insights with spiritual friends who are also suffering. I also have spiritual friends who listen to me when suffering brings awareness that opens up a crack of light into my own life.
Joanna. https://www.joannaseibert.com/