Going upstream
“We are very reasonable creatures, but to feel the grace of God, one must forget about reason and go on a pilgrimage to a place where we no longer ‘see as through a glass darkly,’ to a place where we can see with eyes of gratitude, rather than with eyes of conquest.”—George Grinnell in A Death on the Barrens.
Barge on the Mississippi near Natchez. Mary Seni
I remember sitting recently by the Mississippi River near Memphis, watching barges travel slowly upstream on a cold, windy late December morning. The few dog walkers and runners along the shore move faster than the endless barges churning white water as they move against the current.
The barges are pushed by towboats or tugboats, which are identified by their flat or V-shape hulls. Some covered barges traveling upstream ride high on the water. They must be empty, but are still straining to travel upstream to be filled more inland on the banks of this mighty river. They move slightly faster than the full barges.
Barge on the Mississippi at Memphis
I wonder where their destination is. St. Louis? What are the filled barges carrying?
I hope to remember these barges slowly being pushed upstream against the current. I enjoy leading my life more easily, moving downstream, going with the flow, and not making waves.
Sometimes, however, I am called to go against the crowd and navigate upstream. It will help if I remember that the journey is easier when I travel lightly, not taking myself so seriously, not carrying a lot of my baggage, and not being on a right-or-wrong quest, but just speaking my truth.
The barges teach us that the journey upstream always moves more slowly than the journey downstream. Moving upstream means speaking our truth against the current culture. I pray that the boat pushing us upstream is the Holy Spirit, not our own ego. Grinnell also reminds us that a heart of gratitude can help discern our path and motives and keep us connected to that greater power, leading us on this more difficult journey.
