Resentments

Resentments

“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Attributed to St. Augustine and many others.

I have had a lot of experience with resentments in my own life. In addition, so many people come for spiritual direction because of resentments of harms done to them by other people. These resentments block us from a relationship with God as we obsess about what this person has done to us, thinking about this injustice more and more. The person or the event becomes our higher power, our God. There cannot be a relationship with God because so much of our existence is centered on what was done to us and how we can react or even cause harm to that person. My experience is that when I can calm down and have some realization that this person has taken over my thoughts and has indeed become my God, I slowly attempt a pathway to forgiveness. I don’t want this person or situation to be my higher power, to take up so much space in my limited life.

The first step is praying daily for that person. Praying does not change the person that harmed us but praying can change us.

One other observation can be helpful. We do not have far to look to see others whose resentments for harms done to them have taken over their existence. Some try to hide it. Some openly live a life of resentment. It changes who they are. Anger, bitterness, self-centeredness live in that body. Wholeness is excluded. Some become almost paralyzed by the resentment and cannot deal with life on life’s terms. They in turn begin to resent others who do not appreciate the harm that was done to them. Addictions creep in as temporary harmful solutions to the increasing pain that the resentment brings. That person who harmed them is still hurting them. It is a very sad, isolated life, an icon of who or what we do not want to be.

Forgiveness is our only option if we want a relationship with God and a relationship with others. My Advent gift to you is sharing this best book about forgiving that has been helpful to me.

joanna joannaseibert.com

Mary and Elizabeth: Spiritual Friends

Mary and Elizabeth 2: Spiritual Friends

“When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the child lept in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit and exclaimed with a loud cry,”

Elizabeth: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb,..”

“And Mary said,”

Mary: “"My soul magnifies the Lord,

and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.” Luke 1:39-56.

This visit of Mary to Elizabeth in Luke is one of our most descriptive scripture passages about what it is like to be and have a spiritual friend or soul mate, seeking to see Christ in each other. The response by our neighbor may sometimes be just as miraculous as being able to respond with the joy of the Magnificat.

The story tells us that seeing Christ in our neighbor is a gift of the Holy Spirit. We are to put ourselves in position to receive this gift of the Holy Spirit, then see Christ in our neighbor, and then honor Christ in our neighbor. The Spirit enables us to look and listen for and honor the Christ in those whom we visit. The promise of this story is that when we reflect the Christ in our neighbor back to him or her, he may also see the Christ in himself and be enabled to live out, and even sometimes sing out, the Magnificat.

What does it mean to "sing out the Magnificat?"

"My soul magnifies the Lord,

and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,

for he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant."

The words are very clear. It is living out a life of gratitude and praise and being open to God working in our lives even in times of great stress. Our role model is an unmarried, pregnant young girl who is enabled by the love of her older relative to express her faith in her God so eloquently. The fruit of the spirit which springs forth when we see Christ in each other is gratitude and praise. This is our sign that we are indeed being open and honoring God in each other.

What a difference we could make in our own lives as well as our neighbor's if we could each be an Elizabeth to the Marys we daily visit at home and in our work. When we see Christ in our neighbor, our true self, our God connection within us will also "leap for joy!"

Seibert, The Living Church, May 25, 2003

Merton: Mary, Elizabeth 1

Thomas Merton: Mary Elizabeth 1

“Then it was as if I suddenly saw the secret beauty of their hearts, the depths of their hearts where neither sin nor desire nor self-knowledge can reach, the core of their reality, the person that each one is in God's eyes. If only they could all see themselves as they really are. If only we could see each other that way all the time. There would be no more war, no more hatred, no more cruelty, no more greed." Thomas Merton, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander, 140-142, Doubleday:1966.

Merton ‘s mystical experience captures what spiritual friends seek to accomplish, seeing the light of Christ in each other. I am reminded of the visit of Mary, the mother of Jesus, to her even more pregnant relative, Elizabeth in Luke 1:39-56. As Elizabeth, carrying John the Baptist, hears Mary's greeting to her, the baby in her womb leaps for joy. Elizabeth is then filled with the Holy Spirit and greets Mary with the words: "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb." Mary then breaks into the song of praise and thanksgiving which we call the Magnificat, “My soul proclaims the greatness of the lord." How wonderful when we meet our neighbor that the creative part within us, the Christ within us, leaps for joy to perceive the Christ within our neighbor. What does this story tell us occurs in our lives and the lives of our neighbor when this happens? We are filled with the Holy Spirit and our neighbor is empowered to say or sing or live out the Magnificat.

Some of us are like Mary, just beginning to bear children. Many of us are like Elizabeth, beyond the child-bearing age. Some of us have never borne children, but this story of these two saints as well as Merton’s story still speaks to us. God is speaking to the birthing, the creative part of us which empowers us to see the Christ in ourselves and the Christ in our neighbor.1

1 Seibert, The Living Church, May 25, 2003