God Hole

God Hole

“There is a really deep well inside me. And in it dwells God. Sometimes I am there too. But more often stones and grit block the well, and God is buried beneath.” Etty Hillesum, An Interrupted Life the Diaries, 1942-1943 and Letters from Westerbork, Picador 1996, Daily Quote, Inwardoutward.org, Church of the Saviour, June 28, 2018.

simon migaj

Etty Hillesum was a young Jewish woman studying law in the Netherlands in the 1940’s who lived down the street from Anne Frank. She died at the age of 29 in the Nazi concentration camp at Auschwitz. She kept a diary of her inner life as well as describing the severe persecution of the Jews in Holland during those days. Which was published after her death. Her transformation out of fear and hate to love and care and kindness and compassion for those suffering around her makes her an icon especially for us today. Through the help of her psychotherapist, she learned to see the God hole in people and situations during those amazingly difficult times and fill that God hole with the love she had known.

This is indeed our ministry as spiritual friends. Each of us has a hole in our mind, our heart, our body that only God can fill. Instead we try to fill it with relationships, food, alcohol, drugs, shopping work, sports, work, power, even family, writing, reading, and patriotism. We can also fill it with hate, persecution, bigotry, self-centeredness, intimidation, cruelty, negativity, pessimism, hopelessness, despair, apathy, and indifference.

As spiritual friends we are called to help each other find that God hole and fill it with the best unconditional love we can muster up. It begins with our presence with each other and listening.

I remember a dear friend who came into my office at the hospital early one morning about a relationship that had just broken up. He was depressed, sad, broken-hearted, in tears. We talked for some time. Mostly I listened and tried to let him know how much I cared about him. Late in the conversation, I happened to mention the God hole. Somehow, he intuitively realized that this relationship had completely filled his God hole. I only had to say a few words. A light bulb went on. I usually do not mention the God hole when someone is in so much suffering, but something told me to bring it up that early morning. Hopefully we both were being guided by the Holy Spirit in our own God hole.

Joanna. joannaseibert.com

Nature's Voice

Nature’s Voice

“Happy are those who do not follow the advice of the wicked..

They are like trees planted by streams of water; which yield their fruit in its season, and their leave do not wither. Psalm 1: 1, 3.

I remember last summer watching the rain come across the lake at Whitefish. As it reaches our shore on a gentle breeze the small leaves of the willows and aspen trees move back and forth producing a unique swishing sound. The vibrations caused by the wind and the rain on the fluttering leaves sound like some message the trees, the wind, and the rain are trying to tell us. Is it a cry for help? Are these the sound of Nature’s tears? I don’t believe it is a thank you for how we have cared for our natural world.

There is also a smell that comes with the sound of rain. It has been called earthy. It is thought to be the smell that comes as the earth is moved by the rain. Is it the fragrant perfume of the earth calling and enticing us to come and get to know it better and care for it?

Almost every person I talk to affirms their feeling of God’s presence when they are outside in the natural world. The trees, the sun, the moon, the rain, the flowers, the animals, the mountains, the sea, the earth are healers. They are mood changers, It is difficult not to be grateful looking across a peaceful lake in the cool mountain air and watching a mother duck care for and gather her eighteen ducklings as the rain has stopped. She makes a distinctive sound as well, maybe telling her ducklings that there is still danger when we are around

We are called to care for our churches and places of worship where we experience God. We are called to care for our friends who teach us about the love of God. We are likewise called to care for the natural world which also calls us back to the Creator God.

Joanna. joannaseibert.com

Cloud of Unknowing

Cloud of Unknowing

“The universes which are amenable to the intellect can never satisfy the instincts of the heart.”

The Cloud of Unknowing, Anonymous

I remember flying back to Arkansas from Montana and hoping to see many blue skies above the clouds. The older I get, the more anxious I seem to be on travel days. I wake up in the early morning and look out on the Whitefish Lake to see a large cloud just above the water. It seems to be getting larger and getting closer to the water. There is no sound except for an occasional crow calling nearby and a slight breeze rustling the aspen leaves in the trees beside the beach. The quiet, the cloud now turning into fog that is more like a whisper as it approaches the lake gives this spot of northern Montana a mystical countenance.

The 14th century book, The Cloud of Unknowing, by Anonymous also is a writing about Christian mysticism. We call something mystical if it is not obvious to our senses or minds. Something happens when we see such beauty as the clouds and the lake in this cool early morning that we cannot explain the experience by what we know. It calms my soul on a day when I pray for calm and patience and flexibility. We know that our experience tells us we have known this presence before when we took time to be present to it.

That is what I hope was reinforced to me on this trip with my family. I hope I will stay present to the moment and not miss again the many clouds of unknowing that are now disappearing as I have almost finished writing about them. I am going to stop so I can experience them one last time and keep them in my album of experiences of the majestic beauty of the precious present.

Joanna joannaseibert.com