Guenther: Women

Guenther: Women

“If Priscilla of Thecla had written our epistles instead of Paul, I suggest there would have been a good deal about Incarnation and relatively little about circumcision!” —Margaret Guenther, “Women and Spiritual Direction” in Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction (Cowley, 1992).

Guenther reminds us to be sensitive to women’s issues such as feelings of “not being deserving” and women using tentative speech out of a fear of causing anger. She helped me realize my own fear of speaking out: that I might say the wrong thing. She reminds us to be aware of the tiresomeness of endlessly repetitive menial work that women often are relegated to; and of the burden carried by those responsible for work that so often is noticed only when neglected. She reminds us never to be intimidated, even when our story is not theologically sophisticated.

A spiritual friend is called to help others to trust their own voice. We are challenged to help both men and women to be comfortable with feminine imagery for God in prayer. She asks us to remind others of the brave women who anointed Jesus, and especially the story in Mark (14:3-9) of the woman with the alabaster jar. Jesus said in response: “Wherever the gospel is preached in the whole world, what she has done will be told in memory of her.”

Guenther believes that the greatest sin in women is not pride, but self-contempt—often paired with an apparent absorption in triviality. She suggests that an icon for this is Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway, describing a day in the life of a high-society woman in post-World War I London as she is preparing for a party.

When we talk to women who may have been abused, Guenther suggests we ask the questions, “What do you want?” and Where do you hurt?”

Guenther reminds us of times when we, as well, have been verbally hurt by colleagues but showed no anger, because it was not acceptable. We may repeatedly allow other women and men verbally to abuse us, because we think if we just stay kind, the situation will change. Often we assume that there is something we have done wrong to deserve this treatment.

A statement to make when we sense verbal or sexual abuse is: “I sense you have been hurt a lot.” When we perceive a special woundedness, we hope not to be afraid to ask the difficult questions: “Where was God when all this was happening to you? Where is God now? Do you feel angry at God?” We hope that eventually all of us will conclude that God was there, right beside us, suffering with us all along.

Last, Guenther writes about the danger of premature movements toward forgiveness, and reminds us to tell spiritual friends to pray to want to be able to forgive—someday.

Joanna joannseibert.com

Purchase a copy of A Spiritual Rx for Lent and Easter from me, joannaseibert@me.com, from Wordsworth Books in Little Rock, or from Amazon.

Margaret Guenther 2

Margaret Guenther 2

“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.” —Hebrews 13:2.

This is another quote from the beginning of Margaret Guenther’s book Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction. It had been on my bookshelf, half read for some time. I think I bought it around twenty years ago in Washington, D. C., at the National Cathedral Museum Bookstore, attracted to its cover of the newborn by one of my favorite artists, Georges de La Tour.

I am guessing that Guenther or her publisher picked this work of art because it depicts two women, one silent with a gently raised hand, perhaps in adoration or blessing, and the other looking intently at her sleeping newborn, tightly wrapped like a gift or package. What an image for conveying the essence of spiritual direction! I had been going for spiritual direction myself for many years, but it seems that the seed for fruition was planted in my heart and soul so very long ago. As people started coming to visit with me, I realized that they were seeking spiritual direction, though they were not calling it that.

I decided to take a course in short-term spiritual direction online from CDSP (Church Divinity School of the Pacific) in order to feel out the waters. I kept moving in that “direction”—and then five years later this course of action was affirmed for me when I spent two years in Spiritual Direction Study at Kanuga with the Haden Institute. So although I was greatly moved by Guenther’s cover more than twenty years ago, it took that long for my vocation to be affirmed!

Our God is a patient God who never gives up on a call.

Joanna joannseibert.com

Purchase a copy of A Spiritual Rx for Lent and Easter from me, joannaseibert@me.com, from Wordsworth Books in Little Rock, or from Amazon.

A Week with Margaret Guenther

Margaret Guenther 1

“Let all guests who arrive be received like Christ, for He is going to say, ‘I came as a guest and you received Me …’” —The Rule of Benedict, chapter 53.

This line from The Rule of Benedict opens the first chapter of Margaret Guenther’s book, Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction. The title could so easily have been Practical Spiritual Direction for Clergy and Laypeople. Guenther’s writing offers practical wisdom about being a spiritual director, along with illustrations from biblical stories and her own experiences. She says her book is for the “beginner,” but I have kept her writings at my desk at all times for years.

When she began writing about spiritual direction in 1992, Guenther was one of the few women doing so. Her feminine wisdom offers new approaches in talking about direction, such as allowing the director a measure of self-disclosure, sharing parts of her life when appropriate (as opposed to the protocol of therapy). After a short “catch up time,” she begins a session with silence, asking the spiritual friend to let her know when she or he is ready. She ends the meeting with a “little” prayer. She keeps no written records and cautions the spiritual director to recite ten “Jesus Prayers” before saying anything or interrupting.

Guenther lets the spiritual friend know that the session is nearly over by saying “We’ll have to stop in a few minutes,” realizing that the person will now speak about the most significant material. She still ends the session at the appropriate time by saying, “Let’s start with that next time.” She keeps reminding the spiritual friend to talk about herself (“This is your time.”), keeping on track with “What do you want me as your director to do for you?” and “What do you want Christ to do for you?” Or sometimes she will say “Tell me about your work, your family, your friends, your health, your Christian community, what you do for fun.” She knows that at times what is being said is a confession, and she names it. She tries to help spiritual friends discern the “next right thing,” similar to Mr. Dick in David Copperfield. Sharing humor, tears, modeling Jesus as a spiritual director,

Guenther compares the spiritual director to a midwife. This can entail waiting in a ministry of presence amid the strain; offering a hand to be held in the prevailing fear of labor; naming transitions. She identifies the process with the shedding of a snake’s skin, a skin which had to be formed in order to grow, but no longer is useful. She describes a spiritual director as an encouraging coach, celebrating new life.

Guenther spends her last chapter talking about women as spiritual directors and the gifts they may have to offer, as well as the special concerns of women seeking spiritual direction. I love some of her feminine approaches: “If Priscilla had written our epistles instead of Paul, I suspect there would have been more about Incarnation and relatively little about circumcision.” This was meaningful to me, as I have been reading Guenther’s book on a trip to the Greek islands. I thought so much about Priscilla when we were at Ephesus, as she had moved there when the Jews were thrown out of Rome. She became a big supporter of Paul. Some have said that she might have written the Book of Hebrews. I will reread Hebrews to see if that might be true.

Joanna joannseibert.com

Purchase a copy of A Spiritual Rx for Lent and Easter from me, joannaseibert@me.com, from Wordsworth Books in Little Rock, or from Amazon.