"You never get it all done." Betsy Singleton Snyder

 “You never get it all done.” Betsy Singleton Snyder, Stepping on Cheerios.

Methodist minister, mother of four boys, including triplets, and wife of a then member of Congress, tells us what it is like to stay connected to God amid daily chaos. Some of Betsy’s other favorite suggestions in Stepping on Cheerios are you “take sorta kinda breaks,” “have a family movie night as a spiritual practice,” “be just yourself and nothing else,” “nurture something with your kids,” “do less comparing,” and “stop more.” “God made bossy moms” and “everyone screws up” are two other examples of her wisdom that resonated with me.

One of the parts of Betsy’s book I treasured is what she calls “The Squad.” This is an extensive list and description of people who helped her, especially after she had a serious medical complication of pregnancy and times when her husband, Victor, was in Washington or meeting with his constituents at home.

Betsy and her family are a significant example of what living in a community is like. Not all of us will have triplets, but all will at some time need the support and love of a community, as Betsy found. It makes all the difference, as we receive help until we are again able to help others. We become more open to seeing the love of Christ in our neighbor who reaches out to us. We, in turn, learn from our neighbor more about the Christ in ourselves, who guides us to that life-giving and sacred place of gratitude.

This is a significant theme of Betsy’s book. She sees lessons in a multitude of situations presented to her, and always moves out of them with gratitude. Gratitude for those who help her, appreciation for the lessons she has learned, and gratitude for the love of God shown to her family by so many. Her last chapter is titled “My Cup Runneth Over,” as she thanks so many for making her dreams come true.

Joanna joannaseibert.com

Growing Older

Charleston: growing older

“In many ways growing older is learning how to let go. We begin life with the illusion of our ownership of everything around us, but somewhere along the line most of us come to realize how fleeting is our time of possession. We have. We hold. But at some point we must let go. The bitter-sweet taste of parting, I could not ignore it any more than I could ignore the sound of weeping. And so I entrust all of my memories to the Spirit, to keep for me until they can be returned to me: in another time and another place, where letting go is no longer a need, where the sound of weeping is never heard, and where what is truly worth holding on to is received without the fear of loss.”—Steven Charleston Facebook Page.

Robert’s mother, Elizabeth and her best friend Earle who taught us how to grow old

Bishop Charleston brings a comforting message that the memories, all those names we cannot remember, may return in our life beyond death. He also offers the possibility that the names and memories we have lost may not be necessary for life with the God of love. Both options bring hope. There also may be so many other possibilities we cannot even imagine.

 Bishop Charleston continues to remind us that we believe in a God of love who stays with us, beside us, weeps with us, and holds us in the palm of his hand through our joys but also in all the sorrows we encounter. What we have lost, we will again find. But, on the other hand, we may learn that it is no longer critical.

My dreams help me understand this. I have many physical disabilities. I need a walker now to get around. In my dreams, however, I can walk without difficulty. Even sometimes, I can fly! Mainly, in my dreams, I am whole. In our life after death, I believe we become whole. I do not know the form we will take, but what matters is that our God still cares for us no matter what that form takes.

Honoring and telling stories of grandparents and great grandparents

Having All Our Ducks in a Row

Charleston: facing unknown

“Facing the unknown is not quite so hard when we consider how much of our life is lived in the heart of mystery. We do not know what may come our way in the next five minutes, much less the next five days. We are given all the tools and skills we need to make our way through this reality, but the essence of that reality always eludes our final capture. This is why trust is our currency and wisdom our direction. We are explorers. We are travelers of the mind and seafarers of the heart. When we follow the Spirit, the unknown is only a bend in the road.”—Steven Charleston’s Facebook Page.

Bishop Charleston reminds us that even when we think we have made all the plans for our day, something different always happens. It can be just a small annoyance from a problematic person, a printer problem, or a more significant event, such as an illness, accident, or even death. We fool ourselves if we think we are in control. I have a friend who says, “I am fine if I have all my ducks in a row.” But, of course, he also says, “but that never happens.”

When we decide to follow the Spirit, what 12-step groups call “doing the next right thing,” we have a chance at a life of peace and surrender to what is happening at that moment. That is living in the present. The precious present. This is our gift each day from the God of love. We are to be present in each situation, trying not to worry about what has happened in the past or dreading the future. Living in the present is where God meets and speaks to us. In the present moment, we become open to connecting to the Christ within us and the Christ in our neighbor.