Nouwen: Community

Nouwen: Community

“Community is not a talent show in which we dazzle the world with our combined gifts. Instead, community is the place where our poverty is acknowledged and accepted, not as something we have to learn to cope with as best as we can but as a true source of new life.”—Henri Nouwen, Henri Nouwen Society, Daily Meditation, March 18, 2018. From Henri J. M. Nouwen, Bread for the Journey (HarperSanFrancisco 1997).

The Hebrew Bible and the New Testament constantly reveal stories of how God continually calls us to community. This enlarges our view of God and keeps our God from being so small as we hear about the God of their understanding from others. In community, we learn how our gifts are needed and don’t need to have all the gifts or be in control. In community, we also learn about ourselves, as we begin to see that the faults we dislike in others are often also in ourselves, and in time, we see how ugly they are in us and finally pray to be changed.

We also learn about forgiveness as we are forgiven. Finally, as we attempt to live in harmony in community, we learn about reconciliation, pluralism, connection, and a different kind of living than our society often teaches us.  

We live in a zero-sum world, where we are taught there is only so much food, resources, jobs, money, and love to go around. If we give away any of what we have, we will lose it all; we will lose all that we have accumulated, and it will not return. So we store our things in pods and warehouses, and even store up love inside ourselves and don’t give it away. We fear that if we share, we will lose what we have and not have more.

 I learned about the fallacy of zero-sum from some of my grandchildren. I once envied others who lived nearby while we lived far away. I feared there was only so much love my grandchildren could give, and their closest family and friends would get most of it. Oh, me. My grandchildren have taught me that they have far more love to give than I can fathom, and how wonderful they know and share the love with so many companions who love them. This is what we learn in community. We learn about God’s love without numbers, love without conditions, love that we cannot hold onto, but love that can only grow if it continually moves and flows in and out of us.

As I meet with spiritual friends, I share what I have learned in community and offer living in community as one more way to keep that connection to God, which so beautifully lives in others. In return, our community reflects to us the Christ, the God of our understanding, which also dwells within us.

Joanna  joannseibert.com. https://www.joannaseibert.com/

Love stronger than Death

Solomon and Wells: Presence, not Words

“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm, for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.”—Song of Solomon 8: 6.

at race for the cure with Shaun

Samuel Wells is the vicar at St. Martins-in-the-Fields in London and a frequent writer for Christian Century. He recently titled his article “Is Love Stronger.” 1 Wells tells the story of visiting with the husband of a wife who committed suicide whom he did not know, and hearing their story, then delivering the homily at her service, suggesting that all is now well. However, when he visited the husband a week later, he was met with anger about his sermon. All had not been well with the woman, who had a painful wasting disease, and all was not well with her husband. The husband said he told Wells that before the funeral.

 Wells said he learned from this experience that when being with people living with tragedy or in the aftermath of a disaster, all he has to offer is his presence beside them. There are no words to improve the situation, and attempts to clean up the situation do not affirm their difficulty. Wells believes his role is “not to make things better for someone. It’s facing the truth with them.” This is what makes love stronger than death. It is a presence, not words.

This is also true when we meet with spiritual friends. Sometimes, trying to see God in any difficult situation is simply listening to our friends’ stories and letting them know we are beside them. We are not there to improve things, but to be a loving presence beside them in a great storm. Eventually, we hope to lead them to see God’s presence in them that was present all along.

 In times of great tragedy, I remember people who just came and sat beside me and cried with me and never said a word.

 Often, the person who can best do this is someone who has known a similar tragedy. They have walked in our shoes and understand that the presence of the listening heart is a more powerful healer than any words.

These are also people like women running or walking in Race for the Cure, who show their loving presence with their feet instead of their mouths.

This is love stronger than death.

1 Samuel Wells, “Is love stronger?” Faith Matters, Christian Century, April 25, 2018, p. 35.

Joanna joannaseibert.com  https://www.joannaseibert.com/

Sanctuary

Parker Palmer: Seeking Sanctuary in Our Own Sacred Spaces

“Sanctuary is wherever I find safe space to regain my bearings, reclaim my soul, heal my wounds, and return to the world as a wounded healer. It’s not merely about finding shelter from the storm; it’s about spiritual survival. Today, seeking sanctuary is no more optional for me than church attendance was as a child.”—Parker Palmer, “Seeking Sanctuary in Our Own Sacred Spaces” in “On Being with Krista Tippett” (9/14/2016).

Returning to my sanctuary as a child by a river

Our news has been full of churches, towns, and cities providing sanctuary for new and old immigrants from Ukraine, Afghanistan, and Central and South America, as well as undocumented immigrants facing possible deportation—dreamers, many of whom have been working, living, and raising families in our country for years. They sought a better life for themselves and their families, and feared losing everything sacred to them.

Many who come to spiritual directors seek a sanctuary for their sacred spaces, a chance to revive a spiritual life that once had been vibrant, but now may seem lost. They had decided to live boldly and follow a road less traveled, but they have come to a spiritual fork in the road, or perhaps a dead end. They fear they have lost the spiritual life they once had. They are now on a path that seems uncharted.

Our ministry as spiritual friends is to be a sanctuary for the souls of those who seek our trust and guidance, especially when they feel isolated from their connection with God. It can be a lonely time. We must treat this precious part of all people as sacred, that presence of God within each of us that sometimes is nearly undetectable. We must never lose sight of the privilege or awesomeness of being asked to care for another’s soul, especially at a vulnerable time in their lives. This is a holy trust, a rare chance to make a difference—just as our churches in years past were and will remain places of sanctuary in years to come.

The red doors of some of our churches are an ancient sign of sanctuary within. When we meet with a spiritual friend, may we imagine sitting together within the protection of red doors? We are called to relate to other seekers who need sanctuary at this time of their lives—in prayer and in person—remembering that we are all seekers, and we, too, are on an undocumented, uncharted path. Our hope is that we will have the courage to stand, sit, sleep, work, eat, and pray beside all who need sanctuary within the red doors of our churches, as well as within our minds and hearts. Sanctuary is vital during this time, when so many parts of our being, including our churches, are still in conflict.

We are called to find a place of sanctuary where our soul is renewed, a chair by the window in our home, a bench outside, a bank by a river or ocean.

We are also called to be a sanctuary for those who are homebound, with visits, cards, phone calls, and food.

May we also be ready to give sanctuary to those fleeing their homes in Afghanistan, Ukraine, and our southern neighbors.

open red doors

Joanna joannaseibert.com https://www.joannaseibert.com/