12-Step Eucharist August 5, 2026: Jacob Wrestling with God 13A
Jacob is our biblical poster child for addiction.1 He may not have used alcohol or drugs, but his addiction was control. Jacob steals his brother’s birthright and blessing,/ runs away,/ and meets his deal-making match in Uncle Laban. He also meets the love of his life, cousin Rachel, and serves fourteen years of hard labor for her hand. The struggles of domestic life become life-changing for Jacob; there is probably nothing like having two wives, two mistresses, and eleven children to dispel the illusion of control. Sometimes this is how God works: we get what we ask for and realize our lives have become unmanageable. Jacob desires to change. In a late effort to make amends to his brother and return home, Jacob sends hundreds of animals ahead of him, moves his family to another camp, and waits alone across the river. In the darkness, Jacob meets God or a muscular angel. A new life, a resurrection, often happens in the dark. The birth of a baby also constantly reminds us that new life is a blessed, painful process, often filled with chaos.
The angel and Jacob fight by feel until dawn. Just as Jacob seems in control,/ the stranger drops his weight onto Jacob’s leg, and “pop,” his hip is out of joint. But Jacob will not let go of the angel. He is in pain and crippled, yet he smells the scent of heaven. Jacob still remembers that scent from a long-ago dream, when he stood at the bottom of a ladder he called “the gate to heaven” while running away from home (Genesis 28:16-17). Then Jacob does what he does best; he makes a deal. “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” Locked in each other’s arms, the angel asks, “What is your name?” If we really listen, we hear the echo of the same question, asked another time by someone who barely sees Jacob. “I am Esau,” he says that last time. “Jacob,” he answers this time, and the name falls away from him like a snake shedding its old skin. He is no longer Jacob, the imposter. He is Israel, the survivor, the one who strives, who struggles with God. Jacob limps to his reunion with Esau, in whom he sees the face of God for the second time in one day. His exile is over. He is back home.
We in this room know the feeling of home. We feel it when we come to this chapel. We feel it when we sit in the chairs at our home recovery group. We remember what our life was like before and what it is like now. We also know the feeling of surrender to the last act of making deals. We still remember that scent of heaven as we struggled with our higher power. And now we go through the remainder of life with a new name and a limp that is our new birthmark.
Joanna Seibert
1 Barbara Brown Taylor, “Striving With God,” Gospel Medicine, p. 107-114.